There was no person concerned in these things but the Com. of W. and M.—Because I was morally certain, from the aspect of affairs, that how soon the operations were commenced, persons in the various ranks of society would carry it on.—I have therefore no new discoveries to make.
I can judge of my intentions from my feelings,—my views were the good of society; and not robbery or murder. I will not say but my own interest was blended in these views; for who is he, that if he serves society, but will naturally expect a reward? But divine Providence has been pleased to permit me to be brought into circumstances of misery and woe—I hope they have been the best reward that could be conferred on me. I however patiently, and I hope thankfully, accept of these as coming from God, not only as the Sovereign disposer of all events, but as my merciful Redeemer.
In reflection, I see that although my intentions were good, and probable evils endeavoured to be guarded against, yet circumstances might have proved such, as would have caused me to repent my having gone so far, although my person were safe, which I sincerely do this day.
Though the part I acted proceeded from the best of motives; yet, on reflection, I perceive that I erred in taking such an active part, without maturely weighing the probable consequences. Bloodshed and rapine might have ensued. This would have involved me in guilt; being somewhat accessory to them, though not intentionally so.
The duty of all sincere Christians is, “to lead quiet and peaceable lives in all godliness and honesty, giving honour to whom honour is due, and fear to whom fear.” To leave the reformation of abuses in the State to those who mind only earthly things, except when called to assist in a legal manner. At the throne of grace they may be of more real utility, than either in the Cabinet or field of battle.
Had my life been prolonged, I think this would have been my mode of conduct. And I bless God for timely preventing me going the perhaps awful length my ambitious and enterprising mind might have induced me.
I have given no private offence that I know of. Indeed, my sympathising mind, though compounded of pride and ambition, would soon relent. I may truly say, if I know my own deceitful heart, that sympathy to the unfortunate was one cause of my adopting the part that has brought me to my present fate. Reflection on the hardships of others has often brought tears of sympathy from my eyes. Nor have I borrowed money, nor purchased goods, but with the most upright intentions.—For the satisfaction of my creditors, I will observe, that I had views of being able to pay what I had either borrowed or purchased, had I lived, altogether disconnected with the matter that has brought me to my present unfortunate situation; but in this situation it would be improper to mention what these views were.
Though I have always kept up the worship of God, at stated times, both in the closet and family, and had honest intentions towards my creditors; yet I am convinced, that my departures from God have been very great; and that, in the glass of his holy law, they are innumerable and highly aggravated. And especially the crime for which I am about to suffer, as viewed in its probable consequences. I humbly hope, that the Spirit of God has given me a saving discovery of my sins; and that, in the spirit of genuine contrition, I am led to the precious blood of sprinkling.
In the foregoing narrative, if any article appears imperfect or obscure, I hope the imperfection or obscurity will be ascribed to the urgent pressure of the occasion on which this paper is written. It is a first copy; and, alas! there is not now time to revise or correct.—Of the minutes of life that yet remain to me, even the writing of this sentence has consumed one. But you who now read or hear of this account, remember as you read, that the period is coming when death shall be as near to you as it is to me; and, be assured, you will find that a period when you will shrink with horror from the idea of duplicity or deception. With candour then consider this solemn declaration of a dying man. Nor let prejudices, which appearances have produced against me, lead you to suppose, that, on the brink of eternity, with the throne of judgment in my view, I dare to approach the Omnipotent with a lie in my right hand.
Those who, in an official character, began and managed my prosecution, I freely forgive.