Brigham smiled sadly as he replied: “Yes; but they only take a census once in ten years.”
And I tiptoed silently from the pathetic presence of one who had married not wisely, but too much.
VII
HIPPOCRATES ON MODERN DOCTORS
“What did you say about a hip-pocket?” queried the city editor suspiciously. “I want a drink as much as any man, but since prohibition arrived no camel has had anything on me. I believe in respecting the law even if—”
“I didn’t say anything about a hip-pocket,” I cut in. “I said it might be a good scheme to interview old Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine, and find out what he thinks about modern doctors and surgeons and professional etiquette and whether times have improved any since he was in active practice a couple of thousand years ago. What do you think of the idea?”
“Go to it,” responded the C. E., “but be careful he doesn’t try to charge you ‘for professional advice.’ Make him understand that we’re doing the favor, not he. He ought to be glad of the free advertising. He’ll say at first he doesn’t want any publicity—it is unethical. See if he doesn’t. These doctors are all alike. I know ’em.”
Much to my surprise the city editor’s cynical prediction was verified by my victim’s opening remarks. “You want me to talk for publication, young man?” said the Father of Medicine. “You’re sure you’re not a representative of an eastern publishing house who has been authorized to place a few copies of a new encyclopedia with a selected number of the most prominent citizens, absolutely free of charge, on payment of a dollar down and five dollars a month for twenty years?”
Somewhat mystified, I replied in the negative.
“And you’re not demonstrating from purely philanthropic motives—the only charge being for packing and postage—a new tonic guaranteed to make the baldest pate blossom into a Paderewski?”