"Wall, I'll be damned!" said Pieface.
"True," said I, and immersed him. "Dost thou repent thee, Pieface? Art thou resolved to live a godly life, and pay me back three dollars that thou owest?"
I drowned him until he promised to sing in my choir next Sunday.
So finding that troopers were not allowed to swear, Mutiny, Tribulation and Calamity, who always hunted in concert, began a combined attack upon St. Blackguard.
On that, five decent men who disliked foul language promptly joined my choir for next Sunday, and proceeded to enlist with contusions Mutiny, Calamity and Tribulation. These with Red and Pieface for choristers-by-force, made eleven singers. They held the ring while I fought a battle with the cook. This learned doctor of beans and sow-belly outweighed me mainly below the belt, but was so fat that I found his vitals very hard to come at, and feared I should be overlain and smothered. Nine rounds we fought before he could be converted; but with him came three penitents whom he had thrashed that summer, and when they confessed their errors I had half the duty men for choristers at a cost of only two black eyes and an inflamed ear.
Nothing would suit me now short of triumph over all the wicked, but to secure a unanimous vote I must use the curate. Him I waylaid in the dusk, and gave him so smart a salute that his mule bucked. I picked him respectfully out of a rose bush and asked permission to speak with him in private.
"I want to sample your religion, sir."
The padre seemed to be shaken and resentful, saying that his religion had that very morning been freely offered.
"Freely?" I asked.
"You mean the parade was compulsory?"