I love my rat, if he should die

Great tears of anguish I would cry.

Here is a particularly admired effort. It appealed to every member of our community on account of its spirited and militant sentiment. They say I wrote it. Undoubtedly it will appear in evidence against me in case of a new trial—hearsay evidence is “great stuff”:

DAWN.

When morning comes, and Joe pounds on the bar,

Calling me back from happy dreamland far;

Although “they say” that two were killed by me,

How I regret I cannot make it three!

The following admirable pastoral was written by a gentleman with a longing for the delights of rural life—or life of any other kind:

MY ONION.