This is (please do not get a shock)
The signature of Archie Lock.
If you forge it on a cheque,
You will get it in the neck;
Nothing causes so much rancour
In the bosom of my banker:
“Cheques,” he says, “we cannot pass; it’s
No dam use; there ain’t no assets.”
Georgina Grosheim, of course, tried to be funny and pretended that we were a village inn: “Have no complaints. The cooking is all that can be desired, the attendance excellent, and the management kind and thoughtful. Shall come here instead of Margate next year.” That is just on the opposite page to a very heavy quotation put in by Lady Pulbrooke: “Philosophers are for ever asking what is the true basis on which the welfare of a commonwealth depends. They fail in their search because they do not look near enough. The welfare of a commonwealth depends upon the qualities of its citizens, on kind hearts and honest faces.” I suppose it must have been Juliet Savage who wrote “My dear Holmes! How on earth....” at the tail of this quotation; she was always “ragging” my Visitors’ Book. Then there is Lord Billericay in his sportive vein—it must have cost the poor old gentleman a sleepless night, for humorous verse was not his natural medium:
There was once a good fellow called Porstock,