In another moment she would have sought refuge in the hall, but contempt at her own cowardice kept her rooted to the spot.
“She was an utter goose to be so startled! It was—yes, of course it was Mrs. Cheyne. She could see her more plainly now. She would step through the window and meet her.”
Phillis’s feelings of uneasiness had not quite vanished. The obscurity was confusing, and invested everything with an unnatural effect. Even Mrs. Cheyne’s figure, coming out from the dark background, seemed strange and unfamiliar. Phillis had always before seen her in black; but now she wore a white gown, fashioned loosely, like a wrapper, and her hair, which at other times had been most carefully arranged, was now 200 strained tightly and unbecomingly from her face, which looked pallid and drawn. She started violently when she saw Phillis coming towards her, and seemed inclined to draw back and retrace her steps. It evidently cost her a strong effort to recover herself. She seemed to conquer her reluctance with difficulty.
“So you have come at last, Miss Challoner,” she said, fixing her eyes, which looked unnaturally bright, on Phillis. Her voice was cold, almost harsh, and her countenance expressed no pleasure. The hand she held out was so limp and cold that Phillis relinquished it hastily.
“You said that I should be welcome,” she faltered, and trying not to appear alarmed. She was too young and healthy to understand the meaning of the word hysteria, or to guess at the existence of nervous maladies that make some people’s lives a long torment to them. Nevertheless, Mrs. Cheyne’s singular aspect filled her with vague fear. It did not enter into her mind to connect the coming storm with Mrs. Cheyne’s condition, until she hinted at it herself.
“Oh, yes, you are welcome,” she responded, wearily. “I have looked for you evening after evening, but you chose to come with the storm. It is a pity, perhaps; but then you did not know!”
“What would you have me know?” asked Phillis, timidly.
Mrs. Cheyne shrugged her shoulders a little flightily.
“Oh, you are young!” she returned; “you do not understand what nerves mean; you sleep sweetly of a night, and have no bad dreams: it does not matter to you happy people if the air is full of sunshine or surcharged with electricity. For me, when the sun ceases to shine I am in despair. Fogs find me brooding. An impending storm suffocates me, and yet tears me to pieces with restlessness: it drives me hither and thither like a fallen leaf. I tire myself that I may sleep, and yet I stare open-eyed for hours together into the darkness. I wonder sometimes I do not go mad. But there! let us walk—let us walk.” And she made a movement to retrace her steps; but Phillis, with a courage for which she commended herself afterwards, pulled her back by her hanging sleeves.
“Oh, not there! it is not good for any one who is sad to walk in that dark place. No wonder your thoughts are sombre. Look! the heavy rain-drops are pattering among the leaves. I do not care to get wet: let us go back to the house.”