Judith could find no words, and the other continued:
‘She’s starting to find herself. It’s very interesting. Of course nobody’s understood her here.’
‘And you think you do?’
‘I do, yes.’
‘Oh, but I’d never dare say that about a person I loved! You might seem to touch everywhere and all the time be strangers.’ Judith clasped her hands and spoke urgently:
‘Oh, don’t you feel how you might long to say to someone you love: I give you all myself, all myself—and all the time be sad because with all your efforts and longing you know you never could—that the core can’t ever be stirred at all? It seems such dreadful arrogance to say—’ she stopped short, pressing her hand to her lips, shutting her eyes. After a pause she added quickly: ‘But I don’t doubt you love her ...’ she sighed. ‘Thank God this term is nearly over. This is a terrible place for getting overwrought.’
Geraldine seemed to be thinking deeply. Her face was awake and preoccupied behind its heavy mask.
‘It’s very odd,’ said Judith, ‘how she doesn’t value her brains in the very least—isn’t interested in them—can’t be bothered. I suppose you know she’s the most brilliant history student of her year. Easily. Of course she’s never worked, but she could have done anything she liked. In spite of all her idleness and irresponsibility they were still excited about her—they thought she’d do something in the end. And I was going to make her pull it off. I could have—in one term. I mean I could have once. Not now of course.’
Her voice ceased drearily. As if it would matter to Geraldine how much Jennifer wasted brains, or academic opportunities ... as if it would move her!
The bell started to ring for Hall.