He passed a hand across his forehead: his first gesture. Then he too was feeling, however slightly.
‘I thought that was what you wanted: what you were asking for,’ he said.
‘Oh, so you thought you’d oblige——’ No, no, not sarcasm. She waited a moment and added: ‘I see. You misunderstood me. I daresay it was quite natural. You thought I wanted what you wanted—just a little—a little passion—to round off a flirtation—and be done with it. Well....’
The lane was so still that she could hear the dull beat of oars in passing boats on the other side of the fence. The evening had become very cold.
She gave a little laugh and said:
‘I really am very sorry to make this fuss. It’s too laughable that I should—I! ... I suppose you never dreamed I—wasn’t used to this sort of thing—from men?’
‘I thought you knew pretty well what you were about.’
‘And I didn’t! I didn’t! I was being deceived—like any.... Oh, it’s so vulgar!’ She shut her eyes, laughing weakly. ‘That’s why you didn’t make your meaning plainer, I suppose. You thought I was quite used to—that sort of thing—kissing—just for a lark. Just for a lark, Roddy—that was it, wasn’t it? And I got serious, and tried to—to let you in for more.... I tried to catch you. Poor Roddy! But you’d never get let in, would you? You know your own mind. You’re cautious. You’ll see—,’ she waved her hand slightly, ‘I’m not dangerous. I’ll never bother you any more. And I’m very very sorry.’ She broke down with a gasp, but did not weep.
‘I’m sorry, Judith. I apologise. I——’ His voice had now the faintest trace of emotion.
‘Oh!’ She controlled herself. ‘Apologise! Have I accused you? This is just another damned muddle. I’m only trying to understand it.’