Yours truly,
The object of the sales letter is to make the reader buy. How can you do it? To begin with, get his point of view—that of the user. Then imagine that he is present and talk to him on paper. Get his interest with your opening sentence. Explain what you have to sell. Show him that he needs it. Whet his desire to possess it, and, finally, make it easy and imperative for him to order today.
The opening paragraph is all-important. It may make or mar a letter. If it is stilted or lacks directness, if it hasn't the personal, natural tone that makes the reader feel you are talking to him, or if it is stereotyped in its wording, the letter will probably go to the waste-basket.
Contrast the two letters that follow. Both were written to accompany a catalogue. Notice that the first begins and ends in a stereotyped way; has too few details to arouse interest; asks for an order but has no inducement to give one now; and, throughout, lacks the personal, convincing tone that makes the second a good selling letter. Notice that the second begins with you, not with we, and keeps the same you attitude to the end.
Turn back to the five essentials of a letter given on page 230. See if you can differentiate the five in the second letter.
1
Dear Sir:
In compliance with your request of recent date we are sending you our latest general catalogue, inasmuch as we do not know which department catalogue you wish. We also have specialized books for jewelry, furniture, hardware, and drygoods. On request we shall be glad to send any one of these also.
We carry the biggest line of Variety Store Leaders in the country, and our goods are always of the best. We take particular pains to acquaint our customers with the latest thing in the trade, and to give business-getting suggestions. Our Co-operative Bureau cheerfully answers all inquiries.