Dear Sir:
We sell cheese, a new brand, the finest kind you ever tasted, put up in the most attractive package, to sell at the most attractive price. Called Par Excellence Creme, wrapped in silver foil with a gold label, it sells for fifteen cents and costs you ten. Ever hear a better proposition?
Better buy now before your rival gets ahead of you. Everybody's calling for it. Why? Because we're advertising everywhere. It has been out only one month, and yet sales have trebled our highest expectations. Half the sales of a new cheese depend on the package and the price; the other half depend on the quality. All three are right in Par Excellence Creme.
Mr. S. R. King, our Iowa representative, tried to see you last week, but, unfortunately, he was unable to find you in. Now, he carries a full line of our samples, and it's worth the time it takes just to see how good they look, even if you don't care to buy. How about it? Don't you want to see them? Mr. King will be in Ottumwa next Wednesday.
Yours truly,
This style is commonly called "snappy." It has its advantage, but should be used only rarely. Above all, if you do use it, avoid the dash. Notice how the dash spoils the following:
Dear Sir:
Have you ever eaten that king of nuts—the budded or grafted paper shell pecan—the nut whose kernel is as nutritious as beef and as sweet and delicious as honey—the nut that is so delightfully palatable and so wholesome, the discriminating epicures of two continents have set their seal of approval on it—creating a demand that literally cannot be supplied—even at prices ranging as high as a dollar a pound.
To use the dash in this way seems to imply that you do not understand punctuation or sentence structure. If the paragraph is rewritten, removing the dashes and dividing into sentences, we get a much stronger appeal. The dash makes for weakness rather than for strength because it suggests hysterics.
Dear Sir: