in the future and this will gather a rich harvest as the final outcome of our efforts. The most successful men oftener has the most failures. So if success were to crown our efforts now, where would be the great success of our future.
HOW TO SUCCEED—BOTH ARE NEEDED. [5]
Conditions are by no means what they should be unless there is opportunity for the full development of manners and politeness.
There is a great difference between manners and politeness. Manners is one thing and politeness is another. A person possessed of these qualities, though he had never seen a court, is truly agreeable; and if without them would continue a clown, though he had been all his life a gentleman usher. A traveler of taste at once perceives that the educated men are polite all the world over, but that ignorant men are polite only at home. Good manners are well-nigh an essential part of life’s education, and their importance cannot be too largely magnified when we consider that they are the outward expression of an inward virtue. Social courtesies should emanate from the heart, for remember always that the worth of manners consists in being the sincere expression of feelings. Like the dial of a watch, they should indicate that the works within are good and true. True civility needs no false lights to show its points. It is the embodiment of truth, the mere opening out of the inner self.
The truest politeness
comes of sincerity. It must be the outcome of the heart or it will make no lasting impression, for no amount of polish will dispense with truthfulness. To acquire that ease and grace of manners which distinguishes and is possessed by every well-bred person one must think of others rather than of one’s self, and study to please them even at one’s own convenience. The golden rule of life is also the law of politeness, and such politeness implies self-sacrifice, many struggles and conflicts. It is an art and tact rather than an instinct and inspiration.
Many a man who now stands ranked as a gentleman because his smile is ready and his bow exquisite, is in reality unworthy of an honor, since he cares more for the least incident pertaining to his own comfort than he does for the greatest occasion of discomfort to others. A man of politeness and manners does not hint by words that he deems himself better, wiser or richer
than any one about him. He is “never stuck up,” nor looks down upon others because they have no titles, honors or social position equal to his own. He never boasts of his achievements by affecting to underrate what he has done. He prefers to act rather than to talk, to be busy rather than to seem, above all things is distinguished by his deep insight and sympathy, his quick perception of an attention to those little and [6] ]apparently insignificant things that may cause pleasure or pain to others. In giving his opinions he does not dogmatize. He listens patiently and respectfully to all other men, and, if compelled to dissent from their opinions, acknowledges his fallibility and asserts his own views in such a manner as to command the respect of all who hear him. Frankness and cordiality mark all his intercourse with his fellows and, however high his station, the humblest man feels instantly at ease in his presence. The success or failure of one’s plans have often turned upon the address and manner of the man. If we wish to be successful men and women, we must first be in possession of both politeness and manners.
POVERTY MAY BE A BITTER DRAUGHT, YET IT OFTEN IS A TONIC.
The majority of the men of note in this country are not the sons of those fathers who could give them all they want, and much more than they should have, but are those who were brought up in cottages and cabins cutting their way through difficulties on every side to their present commanding position.