WARRIOR (repeating salute ). And a fighting man also.
OFFICER (impersonally to horizon ). But they all say that nowadays.
WARRIOR (very loudly ). But there is a man in one of your battalions who can testify to it. He is the grandson of my father's uncle.
OFFICER (confidentially to his boots ). Hell is quite full of such grandsons of just such father's uncles; and how do I know if Private So-and-So speaks the truth about his family? (Makes to go. )
WARRIOR (swiftly removing necessary garments ). Perhaps. But these don't lie. Look! I got this ten, twelve years ago when I was quite a lad, close to the old Border, Yes, Halfa. It was a true Snider bullet. Feel it! This little one on the leg I got at the big fight that finished it all last year. But I am not lame (violent leg-exercise ), not in the least lame. See! I run. I jump. I kick. Praised be Allah!
OFFICER. Praised be Allah! And then?
WARRIOR (coquettishly ). Then, I shoot. I am not a common spear-man. (Lapse into English. ) Yeh, dam goo' shot! (pumps lever of imaginary Martini ).
OFFICER (unmoved ). I see. And then?
WARRIOR (indignantly ). I am come here—after many days' marching. (Change to childlike wheedle .) Are all the regiments full?
At this point the relative, in uniform, generally discovered himself, and if the officer liked the cut of his jib, another 'old Mahdi's man' would be added to the machine that made itself as it rolled along. They dealt with situations in those days by the unclouded light of reason and a certain high and holy audacity.