Many have been the marks of divine regard to us and ours. We had often thought of Liberia on the western coast of Africa as our first step, but thought we must of necessity go by way of England; but in the midst of our arrangements we received intelligence that the Liberia packet was daily expected from the coast, and would return soon—that it was the safest and most comfortable conveyance, and that it would stop for a few days to two weeks at most of the principal ports on the African coast, so that we could lodge on board every night; which was, with little exception, an entire protection from the acclimating fever so dangerous to the life of a Northerner. We sought in this exigency divine direction, as we must leave so much sooner than we had planned. This brought the final parting so near that heart and flesh seemed to fail, and the dear children seemed much grieved and cast down at this sudden wrench, as it were, of heart from heart in the most tender and endearing relations. Our dear brother Cyrus seemed on the verge of eternity: we had hoped to have seen him quietly at rest ere we left our native land, and to have more time to visit our other beloved relatives. We were brought very low, even into the deeps, before the most high God, and there in fervent supplication raised our hearts to heaven in this our hour of need; and the watchword was, "Gird on thy sword, take thy helmet and march; the Lord hath need of thee now, for the enemy mustereth his host, and my soldiers must be in readiness." Impalpable mountains seemed to intervene, and high and fearful swelled Jordan's deep waves. In this great strait the language was intelligible: "Stand still and see the salvation of God."
7th mo. 14th, Second day. We received a telegraphic despatch that the ship would sail the 20th, which would occur the next First day. Our time seemed limited indeed. To-day our monthly meeting occurred, and it was the greatest solemnity, I think, ever witnessed there. Then came the pangs of parting; the ties of consanguinity and gospel fellowship were being suddenly and unexpectedly torn asunder; we might meet again, but probably it was a final separation to some present. Our hearts were poured out like water before the Lord and for each other's welfare. Several touching testimonies were given forth—I might safely say as the Spirit gave utterance. Dear James Owen from Indiana delivered a solemn and pathetic message touching the case of our immediate departure. Our prayers were that our departure from those with whom we had so long endeavored to labor faithfully might stimulate them to greater dedication and faithfulness.
17th. Making arrangements for our expedition, believing it to be a divine opening for us, entirely without our aid or concern. This P. M. we must leave and proceed as far as Vassalboro' to take the cars to-morrow morning. What tongue can tell my soul's anguish as the tears flowed fast from each child's almost bursting heart? Had it not been for the gentle accents of a Saviour's love, "It is I, be not afraid; leave thy children with me," I could not have left them. We took our dear children to the home of dear husband's father, two of whom—viz. Sybil Narcissa and Richard Mott—we intended to take to Providence School. There we must bid adieu to dear brother Cyrus, father and mother, brothers and sisters, and friends who had collected to take their leave. Here we had concluded to leave our little Susan Tabor, about three years and a half old, who would often look in my face and exclaim with a touching look that reached my very heart, "Don't leave me, mother, thy little daughter; I will be a nice little lady; thee won't leave me, will thee?" The strength of Israel was my confidence at that moment. Our dear brother took our hands, and after pronouncing the words, "The Lord be with you!" he whispered the last and sad farewell while all around were weeping. We then took an affectionate leave of all present, and left the sweet scenes of childhood for perhaps many a year. Then proceeded to our friend Daniel Runnel's, where was our Eli Grelet, not quite a year old. My heart yearned over this lovely boy, whom I must cast from me. Then we separated, taking the train for Providence School and dear James Parnell, who was to take us to the cars. We arrived at our esteemed friend Alton Pope's, where many Friends had collected, among whom were the Indiana Friends and dear John D. Lang and wife. We sat down together for a little time, and great tenderness and solemnity prevailed. I have lost two dear brothers and five sisters and an estimable father, but never did such hallowed, solemn, and unearthly feelings steal over my overcharged heart as on this memorable day. We rose early in the morning, and after taking leave of our much-loved friends, Alton and Theodate Pope, hastened to the cars. Dear James seemed more cheerful than I supposed he could be. At length we reached the dépôt, and the painful moment came to bid adieu to our dear child; his bosom swelled with emotion and fast fell the bitter tears. With a full heart I pronounced my last parting blessing: "Dearest boy, farewell; God bless and keep thee! I make this request as though it were my last: give thy heart to thy dear Saviour now in thy youthful days; He will comfort thy heart when we are far away." We arrived at New Bedford the same evening. On our way we paused a few minutes at Portland, met our dear friends R. and Sarah Horton, had a parting opportunity at the dépôt. Next stopped a few minutes at Lynn, and several friends accompanied us to Boston, where we had to wait about an hour, which was very pleasant, as the company of those dear friends was very cheering to us. They brought us several packages of useful and interesting things for our comfort on board of the ship. Our hearts were touched with grateful feelings for their Christian kindness. At New Bedford lives my only sister; her health is so frail it is not probable (should we return) that she will survive till that time.
18th. This morning we took the cars for Providence. The children seemed to forget their trouble in their interest in new objects. We stopped about four hours in Providence, where we left the children and parted with our friends Joseph and Sybil Estes, who had accompanied us from Vassalboro'. We took our leave of the dear inmates of the Friends' school in a collective capacity—a very solemn season, our two little ones being with them. We bowed before the Most High and commended them to the care of Him whose mercy endures for ever. The dear children, with several others, went with us to the dépôt, where dear Samuel Boice and wife joined us. We gave a farewell glance to all. The dear little ones' faces were bathed in tears. Here it would be proper to say that we received the kindest attention from the superintendents, Silas and Sarah Cornell, and many others. These dear friends exerted themselves to procure some more needful things for us with great interest. Having so little time, and going by the way of Africa, we were lacking in some things which they most kindly supplied. May Heaven's blessings rest upon them!
7th mo. 20th, 1851, Chesapeake Bay, on board Liberia packet. We arrived in Baltimore about ten o'clock last evening, and found the ship had left the wharf and stood off about eight miles waiting for us, and that we should be expected to be on board this morning. Having taken a solemn and affecting leave of the last familiar face in our native land, we retired to our room, and, though now separated from all most dear, we felt the loving presence of our Saviour.
21st. Made some arrangements to fit up our little "floating home" to make it as agreeable as possible. Captain and officers very kind, and all seem inclined to try to make us happy.
22d. Retired to our cabin after breakfast to read a portion of Scripture and to wait upon the Lord. I felt drawn to supplicate the throne of grace for all on board our frail bark, that the God of our lives would keep us in safety and bless and protect our precious children in our absence. Our time is mostly taken up in writing, as the pilot will return at the capes. Dear Eli is engaged a part of the day in teaching the emigrants to read, cipher, etc. We have some interesting conversation with them, and find them as a whole rather intelligent, and even pious.
24th. Calms and head winds seem to be our daily portion, but the heavenly Pilot holds the ship and the winds in His holy hands. Teaching the emigrants and writing to our friends keep us busy; health comfortable.
26th. To-day brisk wind; we expect to pass the capes. At six o'clock the pilot-boat came alongside and took off the pilot and a large package of letters. We shall not hear from home or have any means of sending intelligence until we reach Africa.
27th. We behold another morning in safety. It is First day, but fearful has been the night. We had a thunder-shower with furious winds. The rain fell in torrents and the thunder rolled deep, while the vivid lightning seemed to envelop the ship in liquid fire. Our trembling vessel would dash into ocean's depths apparently, and then rise upon the mountain wave. We were brought to test ourselves whether we were willing to make our graves in the caverns of the deep or gird on the armor for the Lord's battles. To-day we entered the Gulf Stream. We are making ten miles an hour. We are so enfeebled with last night's rolling that we are neither of us able to sit up. The approach of night again fills us with apprehension. The night again stormy. We looked up in that hour of dismay and found an eye to pity and an arm to save.