When I chucked Reben I said, “Thank Heaven, I don’t have to go on playing that same old part for two or three years night after night, matinée after matinée.” But that’s nothing to the record of the household drama. This is the scene plot of my daily performance:
Scene: Home of the Winfields. Time: Yesterday, to-day, and forever.
ACT I. Scene: Dining-room. Time: 8 a.m. Husband and wife at breakfast. Soliloquy by wife while hubby reads paper and eats eggs and says, “Yes, honey,” at intervals.
Exit husband. Curtain.
Five hours elapse.
ACT II. Scene: Same as ACT I. Luncheon on table. Husband enters hurriedly, apologizes for coming home late and dashing away early. Tells of trouble at factory.
Exit hastily. Curtain.
Five hours elapse.
ACT III. Scene: Same as ACT II. Dinner on table. Husband discusses trouble at factory. Wife tells of troubles with servants. Neither understands the other. Curtain. Two hours elapse.
ACT IV. Scene: Living-room. Husband reads evening papers; wife reads stupid magazines. Business of making love. Return to reading-matter. Husband falls asleep in chair. Curtain.