"I meant to do so, aunty, and I know I am a horribly unthankful, discontented creature, and I quite hate myself for showing such a dog-in-the-manger spirit. I ought to be thinking of all the good things I have, instead of mentally harping on my one grievance. I ought to put on a cheery look and to talk pleasantly to you, who are always ready to take the good and bad alike, instead of spoiling your drive by my petulance. But when Mrs. Stapleton rode by, looking so perfect that she might have sat for a model of Diana, and that little chit Blanche tossed her head in triumph as she passed, I felt just as spiteful and wicked as possible. I almost wished that mother and child might get a good roll in the mud before the day was over, and—but I will not tell you all the naughty thoughts that flashed through my mind. You know what I am by long experience."
"I know, dear, that you are quick-tempered and impulsive, but I also know that my dear Kitty is not capable of really wishing harm to any human being. You say I take good and bad alike, but I do not. I have many a fight with myself, and when that comes which I do not wish for, and which brings sorrow along with it, I too have to fight hard against a rebellious spirit. I have to seek strength, and ask for patience and submission also, that I may be kept in mind of the fact, that whatever befalls me can be overruled for good by Him who permits it to happen. We might as well ask ourselves, 'What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?' Surely, my dear child, your share of good things is large indeed."
[CHAPTER II]
CAPTAIN JACK
KATHLEEN MOUNTFORD was silent for a few moments after listening to what she called "one of aunty's sermons." But in her heart she owned the truth of it, and her generous nature impelled her to speak.
"I think you always come off conqueror in a fight with self," she said. "Every one who knows you would say that you are ever ready to speak of your blessings, and that your trials are kept to yourself. I, on the contrary, have but a single grievance, and I take every opportunity of airing it. Most girls would be so glad and thankful to be placed as I am, that they would forget they had an excuse for grumbling at all."
"I am going to try not to spoil your drive, dear, but, like the parrot we have all read about, I am afraid I shall 'think the more.'"
"However, I will confess beforehand the spirit that is in me. I am seeing Mrs. Stapleton and her surroundings all the time. I am forced to own that her turn-out is perfection, but I am certain my Polly is equal to her Princess any day; that I should look as well as she does, and equal her at managing my horse, if I had the chance; that Polly would fly over the ground, and, as I am a lighter weight, would pass her steed like the wind. And all the while we are lumbering on in a carriage with old Mountain on the box, as if I were a dowager of seventy, instead of a girl not quite twenty. I have everything, but I am debarred from what I most long for, and the 'but' spoils the rest. I have done now, aunty. Said all that was in my mind. Now I shall struggle after a more contented spirit, and, whether I get it or not, I mean to be outwardly amiable for your sake."
Kathleen laid her hand on Mrs. Ellicott's. The latter pressed it lovingly, and no more was said about the girl's grievance.
Old Mountain, on the box, had thoughts very similar to those which exercised the mind of his young mistress, when Mrs. Stapleton cantered past.