"I can see that it is useless for me to venture on thinking for myself on any subject. I must reconcile myself to remain in leading-strings for another year, or rather more. No fear of my forgetting the day that sets me free, and then—"
The girl's eyes fairly flashed with triumph as she spoke, but she did not finish the sentence. She left the rest to the imagination of her listeners.
Geraldine had said nothing hitherto, but she was grieved on her mother's account, on Aylmer's, and on Kathleen's most of all. She was far from well herself, and this miser able scene was not likely to make her feel better. It was in a tremulous voice that she said, when Kathleen paused—
"Spare my dear mother, Kitty."
"Why do you speak in that way, Ger? What have I done to pain my aunt? I came to her as I would have gone to my father, had he been living. I showed her that letter, I looked for her sympathy for the writer. I have been frank and straightforward in everything, and I am disappointed—bitterly disappointed. As usual, I have had a lecture on the wickedness of presuming to think for myself, or even to feel towards any human being otherwise than my lawful guardians do. Their opinions seem to be based on the judgment of the little world of gossips, who are full of malice and all uncharitableness. Happily, thought is free, and for the future, instead of opening my mind, I will think for myself, and bide my time of emancipation as patiently as I can. It goes without saying, that I shall beat against the bars sometimes."
"How you grieve me, Kathleen! You know that I have always been so glad of, and thankful for, the perfect confidence which has subsisted between us. It is not in your nature to be otherwise than frank; Aylmer says the same. Perhaps, if anything, we are over-anxious, but I know he will feel with me about Captain Torrance. If he had seen him walking with you—"
"He did see us. We met him on the road," replied Kathleen, with a triumphant look. "To do Aylmer justice, he showed no inclination to seize and carry me away from such bad companionship by main force. He was grave, as 'tis his nature to be, but he passed us with the usual courtesies, and went on his way. To do Captain Torrance justice, he proposed handing me over then and there to the custody of my lawful guardian, though Aylmer was going in the opposite direction to ourselves. I, however, insisted on his escorting me to the gates of my own domain, and I told him that Mr. Matheson was my good, true friend and guardian, but not my jailer. Now, aunty, I shall go to my own room. I have made a full confession of my doings when I was out of your sight this morning, and I have a clear conscience on the score of any evil intentions when I went for a solitary walk, because I had no one to go with me. That it turned out other than solitary was not my fault, or," she added, "my misfortune. It was very pleasant, and I am not going to say that I am sorry I saw Captain Torrance and had a talk with him, which I am not likely to forget."
"Kitty, do not go away, I beg of you. You cannot have understood me. Aylmer will be here for an hour this evening, and then—"
"I shall have a second lecture, I suppose. Thank you, aunty. I mean to try and have a little peace in my own room. I will leave this with you;" and the girl threw Captain Torrance's letter lightly on to the table. "Let Aylmer see it, please, and tell him all I have told you. I am tired—tired of everything!" she cried; and, quitting the room, she ran to her room, locked herself in, and throwing herself on a couch, burst into a passion of tears.
"I am always wrong," she exclaimed, "no matter how much I try to do right! I thought aunty would be pleased at my showing her the letter, and telling her everything. I might as well be deceitful, for any good my frankness does me. There was not one word said this morning that all the world might not have heard, except that poor Captain Jack would not have opened his heart to every one as he did to me. And I don't care what anybody says. If I can be a friend to him in his loneliness, and help him to be better and happier, I will. It must be right to do that."