"But he would have put my happiness before even Aylmer's, and would never have desired my lips to say 'Yes' when my heart said 'No.'"
A few dull days followed—dull both in and out-of-doors. Grey skies, rare glimpses of sunshine, alternate drizzle and downpour, made up weather neither fit for walking nor driving. Aylmer was from home. He had talked of accepting an invitation to join a shooting party at a friend's place some fifty miles away; and when he sent a few lines to say that he should be absent for a week or more, they all concluded he had done so, as he gave no address. Only Kathleen guessed why he had left home so suddenly, and she missed him more than she cared to acknowledge to herself, whilst she dreaded his return. There would never, she thought, be the same happy, unrestrained intercourse that there had been in the past. Ever before them both would come the memory of pain inflicted by the one, and of rejected affection and hopes crushed on the other.
Kathleen thought the week which followed the longest she had ever spent. The weather which was so trying to her, was equally so to her neighbours, and visitors were few in a country place where friends' houses lay somewhat wide apart.
A change came at last, and with it Kathleen's spirits began to rise again. She was happier, too, after Aylmer's return, for he had bravely schooled himself to meet her as of old, and to reserve his regrets, or at least the manifestation of them, for lonely hours at home. Even there he did not sit down and give himself up to unavailing sorrow, but sought strength from God to endure his trial, and found comfort in the thought of that divine love which never faileth.
Aylmer had just one confidante—Hetty Stapleton. As he had already told her what was in his heart, so now he acquainted her with the downfall of his plans and the extinction of his hopes.
"You will think I was wrong to speak so soon," he said, "but Kathleen's kindness carried me out of myself, and, shall I own it? your own suggestion as to the use that John Torrance would make of Ralph, urged me to try my fortune, lest I should lose by delay what I would have exercised any amount of patience to win. With the boy going in and out at the Hall, Kathleen charmed with him and bent on doing him good, the lad himself such a winsome little fellow, and so loyal to his father, I foresaw that the thin end of the wedge had been inserted. A little while, and it would be impossible to keep John Torrance in his present position."
"I understand the difficulty, and I do not blame you, though I wish you had not spoken so soon. What can I do to warn Kathleen? If I only dare tell her what I know, and yet I should hate to do it. She might put a wrong construction on my speaking, for most people hereabouts thought at one time that John Torrance was paying attentions—I will not say to me, he has far too good taste for that, but to my money. He was terribly embarrassed just then, and would have swallowed any pill if it were sufficiently gilded. He found another way out of his difficulties, but he paid a high price for it, as my brother Gerard happens to know."
"If any one could say a warning word to Kathleen with a chance of success, you would be that one, Hetty. She likes and trusts you, and your good sense and tact would enable you to choose the right time."
"And that is not the present. Kathleen knows that we are good friends, and she would regard a word against John Torrance as suggestive of advocacy on your behalf. It will be very difficult for me to speak at all."
"You will understand, Hetty," said Aylmer, "that all I desire is Kathleen's happiness. If she could have loved me as I love her, I should have regarded her as a precious gift from God, and cherished her as such. This cannot be; but, all the same, I will leave no stone unturned to save her from herself, and from harm at another's hand. But no one must plead for me with her. I could not bear that."