‘What is a pity?’
‘Why, that you should ha’ come so far and not seen the greatest wonder of the world.’
‘What may that be?’
‘The fat woman,’ answered Joseph Woodman. ‘The landlady of the “Hare and Hounds.” You might as well go to Egypt and not see the pyramids, or to Rome and not see the Pope, or to London and not see the Tower.’
‘I don’t make any account of fat women,’ said the warder, who had turned his ankle.
‘But this,’ argued Joseph, ‘is a regular marvel. She’s the fattest woman out of a caravan—I believe the fattest in England; I dare say the very fattest in the known world. What there be in the stars I can’t say.’
‘Now,’ said the warder, who had turned his stomach, ‘what do you call fat?’ He was in a captious mood.
‘What do I call fat?’ repeated Joseph; ‘why, that woman. Brother, if you and I were to stretch our arms at the farthest, taking hold of each other with one hand, we couldn’t compass her and take hold with the other.’
‘I don’t believe it,’ said the warder emphatically.
‘’Tain’t possible a mortal could be so big,’ said the other warder.