He was tickled to death and smiled an 8×10 smile. I touched up his vanity all through the conversation, and got his history from the time he left the cradle until he landed in the city marshal’s chair—and it made mighty good reading when I wrote it out. I’ll bet his hat didn’t fit him that night.
When I finished the “write-up,” I conversed with him a few moments on general topics, and then said:
“By the way, Mr. Marshal, my house is turning out a new encyclopedia in twelve volumes. Do you think I could do any business here in that line?”
He said the best way was to try. I explained all about the encyclopedia, stating that I only called on the upper ten, because they alone appreciated the best books. We usually only made the larger cities, but this was such a metropolitan little place I thought I might get enough orders to justify a shipment and to pay the expense of the write-up I was making. Would he kindly give me the names of the most prominent people?
He not only gave me the names, but told me to go ahead; that no one should bother me. I made one hundred and seven dollars in that town, and went away with as large a smile on my face as the one the marshal wore while I was writing up his life.
I also found it a good idea to be supplied with a stock of jokes which could be used to fit almost any occasion. I had a natural sense of the ludicrous, anyway; and if I came across anything in the comic papers which might be of value I did not hesitate to salt it down for future use. As an instance of application, the following:
I dropped into a millinery store after an order for the encyclopedia. When I had spoken for a few moments to the proprietress, telling her that the book was full, complete and unabridged, treating of every subject that could be known or mentioned, she asked me jokingly if it had any good cooking recipes.
“Why, certainly,” I answered; “I’ll read you a few of them.”
To Make Clear Soup.
Take two pints of water, wash thoroughly on both sides, pour into a deep dish, and stir around in the kitchen until tired.