And right then I brought up with a short turn. I had started in on the wrong string, and for the life of me could not stop until I had made a mess of it. When I realized what I had done I stammered a little and was speechless. Somehow, that young lady affected me as no young woman ever did, before or since.
She seemed to notice my predicament, for she said, very sweetly:
“Oh, you are a corn doctor, are you?”
“Yes, miss, I am—a graduate of the Entaw Chiropedic Institution, and with seven years’ experience. Corns, as you know, are divided into two classes—the curable and the incurable, the latter being most generally found on the feet of persons well advanced in life, though sometimes affecting the younger. Under the new system their removal is practically painless and but the work of a moment. A bare glance is sufficient to decide as to the treatment required. If there are any corns in this household I shall be happy to inspect them, and until the operation is decided on the consultation will not cost you a cent.”
Once started, my confounded glib tongue ran away with me. Before I knew it I had Miss Higbie—that was her name, Miss Mattie Higbie—converted to my way of thinking. While I was talking I gradually edged my way into the house, and when I politely suggested she show me the corn she had admitted the ownership of, she consented without hesitation.
Alas! the work of my tongue was more artistic than the work of my hand. I must have still been bewildered, for on seeing that corn I fell on it in haste, and without preliminary exhortations tore it out by the roots.
I had said the operation would be painless. On the contrary, the pain was so intense that the young lady gave a scream and fell back fainting.
I did not lose my wits as completely as I might have done, but, raising her head, I shouted for water. Mrs. Higbie came running into the room with a whole basin full, which she dashed into Miss Mattie’s face, and under this heroic treatment the young lady began to revive. I have since wondered whether she had entirely fainted.
“You horrid man,” she exclaimed, faintly; “I just allowed you to look at my corn. Nobody said you might jerk it out. I shan’t pay you a cent.”
“And I tell you,” shouted Mrs. Higbie, “that you had better be getting away from here before I get a bucket of hot water. If I get a scald on you the hair will come off, bristles and all.”