In addition to my own vocal and instrumental performances I usually had the specialties of one or two musical comedians to attract and hold the crowd so that I could keep it with me during the entire sale. You will notice in the argument that I used I made my strong talk on the watch, but sold the chain.
“Now, gentlemen,” I would say, “before we close our entertainment I wish to address you for a few moments and explain still further why I am here.
“You might naturally presume that I was simply a street fakir by profession, who was out here for your money. But, my friends, such is not the case. I am not traveling for money, nor my health, nor am I traveling on my shape. If I was I would have been soaped long before this.
“But, strange as it may seem, I am now spending my time and wasting my lungs for the sole purpose of giving goods away.
“I am going to give every man here tonight who is so fortunate as to get one a nice, new watch. Yes, actually give it to him, free of charge. The watches are manufactured in Boston by one of the most reliable concerns in that city, and in order to introduce them to the public they have hired me to advertise them in this manner, and given me positive instructions not to charge a cent for the watches.
“These chronometers have, as you see, genuine hunting cases. They are not a full jeweled watch, but they are stem-winders and stem-set, with as pretty a dial and second hand as any high-priced watch on the market.
“And while I think of it, I want to tell you a little experience a man had in Tirbyville a short time ago. I was on the streets there, working as I am tonight. The gentleman I refer to was in the crowd and I gave him one of these watches. He traded it the next day for a horse, traded the horse for a diamond stud, traded the diamond stud for a very valuable town lot, traded the lot for a farm, struck oil on his farm, and then sold out for sixty thousand dollars. What do you think of that for a speculation? If you don’t think that’s a lie I’ll tell you another one.
“But this isn’t giving away watches, is it? Now, I am going to surprise you still further by putting a chain with each watch. You see, gentlemen, I am one of the most liberal men you ever saw; and you’ll think so, too, before I get through here tonight. I just want to explain a little about these chains and then I will hand the goods out to you.
“Several years ago a prominent mining expert was prospecting in the Asiatic mines. While hunting through the hills one day he ran across a very peculiar looking metal. It looked like gold, and stood all the tests for gold, but it was so soft and mushy that his long experience told him it could not be gold.
“His curiosity being aroused, he took his knife and cut out a chunk, just as you would a piece of butter, and carried it back to camp.