Nor yet man’s opposite.
Not opposite, yet different, so that the one supplements what is wanting to the other, and the harmonious union of the two makes ideal perfection. It is the glory of European civilisation to have done so much to develop this idea of the equality of the sexes, and to have gone so far towards emancipating the weaker half of the human species from the tyranny of the stronger half.
It would be unfair to omit mention of the great part which Christianity has had in this good work; not only by direct precept and recognition of religious equality, but even more by the embodiment, as its ideal, of the feminine virtues of gentleness, humility, resignation, self-devotion, and charity. Ideal Christianity is, in fact, what may be called the feminine pole of conduct and morality, as opposed to the masculine one of courage, hardihood, energy, and self-reliance. Many of the precepts of Christianity are unworkable, and have to be silently dropped in practice. It would not answer either for individuals or nations ‘when smitten on one cheek to turn the other.’ When an appeal is made to fact to decide whether it is a right rule to live as the sparrows do, taking no thought for the morrow, the verdict of fact is in favour of foresight and frugality. Herbert Spencer has stated this polarity very strongly as that of the religion of amity and the religion of enmity; but I think he states the case too adversely for the latter, for the qualities which make men and nations good fighters and victorious in the struggle for existence, are in their way just as essential as the gentler virtues, and both alike become defects when pushed to the ‘falsehood of extremes.’ Christianity, therefore, whatever may become of its dogmas, ought always to be regarded with affection and respect for the humanising effect it has produced, especially in improving the condition of the female half of creation.
This improvement in the condition of women has brought about a corresponding improvement in the male sex, for the polarity between the two has come to be the most intimate and far-reaching influence of modern life. Take the literature of the novel and play, which aim at holding up the mirror to human nature and contemporary manners, and you will find that they nearly all turn upon love. The word ‘immorality’ has come to signify the one particular breach of the laws of morality which arises from the relations of the sexes.
In providing for the birth of nearly equal numbers of each sex, nature clearly establishes monogamy, or union of single pairs, as the condition of things most in accordance with natural laws. The family also, the first germ of civilisation, is impossible, or can only exist in a very imperfect and half-developed state, without this permanent union of a single husband and wife. Violations of this law lead to such disastrous consequences to individuals, and are so deteriorating to nations, that they are properly considered as the ‘immorality’ par excellence, and condemned by all right-minded opinion. And yet to observe this law is a constant lesson in self-control for a great part of the life: a lesson of the utmost value, for it is a virtue which is at the root of all other virtues. And it is formed and becomes habitual and easy by practice, for just as the muscles of the ballet-dancer’s leg or blacksmith’s arm acquire strength and elasticity by use, so do the finer fibres of the brain improve by exercise and become soft and flabby by disuse, so that effort in the former case is a pleasure and in the latter a pain. For this reason chaste nations are generally strong and conquering nations; dissolute Imperial Rome went down before the Goths and Germans, and polygamous Turkey perishes of dry rot in the midst of the progress of the nineteenth century. Indeed, there is no better test of the position which either an individual, a class, or a nation hold in the scale of civilisation, than the tone which prevails among the men with regard to women. Wherever Turkish ideas prevail, we may be sure that whatever may be the outward varnish of manner there is essential snobbishness.
Up and down
Along the scale of life, through all,
To him who wears the golden ball,
By birth a king, at heart a clown
On the other hand, wherever women are regarded with a chivalrous respect and reverence, the heart of a true gentleman beats, though it be under the rough exterior of one of Bret Harte’s cow-boys or Californian miners.