Good Form and Christian Etiquette

by S. M. I. Henry

In “acting out just what is in him,” he will not bring himself and that which he represents into ridicule; the opportunity of giving the truth a chance to shine will not be lost, while honest souls are left in the dark; the breath of personal contempt will not obscure the character of Christ, which he is supposed to represent. He will be accepted, first, because it is agreeable to look at him; he will be heard because no good reason appears why he should not be; and after that, everything will depend on what he really is and has down under the surface, in the place where he lives alone with God.

“But,” you say, “the Lord, who calls a man to stand in any place, will prevent any disaster to the cause, provided his servant is honest.”

Yes, God will be able to use even his servants’ infirmities after he has “helped” them (Rom. 8:26); i. e., added to them his strength and wisdom. And this which we are considering is all in the nature of helps to infirmity and ignorance. It is in the direct line of legitimate education for the very best Christian service.

The honest-hearted laborer for God, who, with his heart full of love, starts out in his ignorance and awkwardness to “do something” for God and souls, will find “something” to do; but we are now considering a work which every man could not do, and yet which some one must do.

XI.

I must believe that the parents who fail, from carelessness or from “lack of ambition”—the holy sort, which is equivalent to consecration and diligence—to give the child the best possible preparation for a good work, will be held responsible for the failure that would have resulted if God had not stepped in with some special helps and prevented it.

Love for God will cover a multitude of social sins; but those who are responsible for the sins will sometime have their reproach to bear. God does not like to have to cover sins; he only does it so as to keep things looking as tidy as possible, until they can be put entirely out of the way. Covet the best gifts for your child, give him the best possible social habits, and then turn him over to God for work, and God will find rare service for him.

There are many teachings as to what constitutes good form at table. It would be impossible for the ordinary mortal so to acquaint himself with them as to become a “social success;” and this is far from our purpose. All we need care about is to see that the habits formed are free from anything offensive. Society is kind to one who is not ambitious for social distinction,—one who has something to say that is worth hearing, who represents a principle, or some new thing the discussion of which may possibly furnish an agreeable diversion,—very much after the manner of the Athenians in Paul’s time; so that even if one does not “know all the ropes,” like one “to the Manor born,” he will be received and heard, provided he does not blunder into the few things which good form has decreed that he must not do under any circumstances.

Among these prohibited things are thrusting out the elbows from the side so as to push his neighbor at table; resting the elbows on the table; and extending the legs under it so as to bring the feet in the way of those belonging to the guest opposite. If any guest does these things, he may be sure that there will be at least three people over whom the best and truest things that he can say will have very little influence.

The eyes of those who chance to glance his way will be seriously offended and quickly averted if he should take up even a half-slice of bread and bite into it. Good form says that bread must be broken off in small bits, just when needed, not spread, but with a small lump of butter placed upon it (provided one uses butter), conveyed to the mouth with the thumb and finger of the left hand. You will be permitted to bite the piece in two once if you wish, but no more; that is, it must not be more than two “mouthfuls” to begin with. Under no circumstances must anything, such as fruit-pits, etc., be ejected from the mouth into a spoon, fork, or plate, but taken from the lips with the left thumb and finger, and placed on the plate. Neither bread nor any refuse is ever to be placed on the cloth, but on the side-dishes provided; or, lacking these, on the one plate that is being used.