If he does not at once make his hat at home, she should indicate where he can leave it. It is better form for her to suggest that he can hang it upon the hat rack or peg in the hall, or lay it on the table, if he does not seem to know that he can do so, than it would be to take it from him. If he has been properly instructed, as every boy should be at home, he will, without any effort upon her part, relieve her of the necessity of looking after his hat. But if he appears embarrassed by it, take it at once with some pleasant remark calculated to set him at ease, and place it where it ought to be. The proper place is in the hall, if there be a hall. Lacking this, any convenient place is in order.
“If a man friend happens to call when the husband is absent and the wife alone, should she invite him into the parlor and visit with him?”
Such a friend should so time his visits as to make reasonably sure that the man of the house would be at home, but if he fails to do so, it is the better way to inform him when the husband will return, and invite him to call again, provided this would be agreeable to both husband and wife. It is, however, bad form to say, “Come again,” when you mean, “Stay away;” very bad form for the wife to invite any one to call who would necessarily be disagreeable to the man of the house. In these days of moral contamination and prevalent gossip, good form is a conservator of good morals. Even as regards the wife’s relation to her pastor, if the husband is not a Christian, and, as often happens, dislikes ministers as a class, and makes a call anything but pleasant, common politeness requires that all pastoral visits shall include the husband.
“Where several are invited to a dinner, is it necessary for the men to escort the ladies to the table? or is it better for each to walk out independently?”
In relation to dinner manners, the hostess is expected to decide all forms for her company. If she wishes to make it very formal, she arranges just what man shall take out a certain woman. The couples will be so seated that a man and a woman will occupy alternate places. Every woman is expected to entertain first her own escort, and then to assist in entertaining the one who sits next her on the other side, and also occasionally to exchange a word with the one who sits opposite. It is not, however, expected that one will talk all over the table, nor that any one voice will command general attention until the table is cleared, and the after-dinner program is called.
“If two gentlemen with their wives should be riding in one carriage, would it be proper for the husband and wife to be separated, and each gentleman sit with the other man’s wife?”
If married couples are riding together the most graceful thing is for the host and hostess to take a guest to entertain; either for the two men and the two women to sit together, or for the couples to exchange companions. It would be an exceedingly ungracious act for the host and hostess to sit together during the ride, thus leaving their guests to each other alone. In any country good form requires that husbands and wives should appreciate each other enough to consider that they are conferring a favor by giving others an opportunity to enjoy their society; and that they should at least seem to trust each other to be friendly to other men and women, even if they quarrel about it when they are alone. The appearance of suspicion is the most foul of all bad forms; it is, in fact, the very stench from the body of moral death.