Good Form and Christian Etiquette

by S. M. I. Henry

The man who can lead other men, except by some appeal to selfish or brutal passion, is very hard to find. A “man’s way” has passed into proverb, and stands for heedlessness as regards his treatment of his equals. His natural sense of pity will make him kind to the helpless, provided he can afford it; he will be respectful to the respectable because his own respectability requires it; and his general interest will lead him to court those who are in a position to bestow favors; but to be all that a consecrated Christian companion might be to those who are on the same plane with himself, or who are so outlawed by public sentiment that no accuser but conscience would arise against him for any wrong done to them, is the point of failure in the association of men with men and women, and is the result of an almost universal idea that “boys don’t need to be so very polite to each other,” nor “so very particular” as to just how they talk when alone among themselves, and that the silly girl or “fallen” among women is legitimate prey for any man.

It is by “behavior” that men and women are protected from, or exposed to, especial and peculiar temptations, as well as made more or less effective in truth-teaching and soul-winning.

It may seem ridiculous to make the use of a handkerchief the subject of grave consideration, but it is a terrible fact that this little scrap of linen has become more dangerous than dynamite to the thoughtless girl in her teens who, for lack of proper teaching, picks up the little tricks of street flirtation, which have so defiled it that it has become almost indecent to handle it outside the seclusion of one’s own room.

Let a bright-faced girl take her handkerchief in hand on the street of even a small country village, and she will immediately become the center of attraction to every lewd fellow who haunts public places, until he has found out what she intends to do with it; and the code of signals for which it is employed is of such a character that the most innocent may be charged with a lewd invitation by what might seem to be its necessary use.

The same is true concerning the sound made by clearing the throat and nasal passages, and coughing. These are all used as signals of vice; and many a giddy, but innocent girl has found herself in situations of great humiliation and danger, simply because she had not been forearmed with a little knowledge as to proper conduct in these matters.

Good form requires that the handkerchief be carried in the pocket out of sight; never brought out in public excepting in a case of necessity, and then used as unobtrusively as possible. The importance of this matter is sufficient to warrant repetition even to line upon line and precept upon precept.

Those who will be able to do the best service in the closing work of the world’s history, to win the richest trophies for our coming King, will be those who, together with the “commandments of God and the faith of Jesus,” and the fulness of the Holy Spirit, will know and observe in deportment that which the world recognizes as good form.

IV.

The whole social problem, as regards pure living, home-making, and domestic comfort, depends on how young people, as such, shall deport themselves toward each other.

Some good people have seemed to suppose that, provided the children were converted, everything else would take care of itself, so that any specific instruction in “manners” must be superfluous, if not foolish. This is a fallacy of the same order as that which assumes that if a man is called of God to preach the gospel he needs no education or preparation, only to stand up, open his mouth, and give his vocal organs a chance to play, leaving God to do the rest; when the fact is that God will make good use of every faculty, and all the culture that is provided for him, but of no more. The name Christian should stand for the very best that is possible in education. Many a Christian man has brought reproach on the name of Christ, not because his heart was bad, but because his manners were. Many a woman of pure purpose, who would not have committed a gross act for the world, has alienated her husband, made her neighbors suspicious, and lost her good name, just because she did not know what things were of good report, and therefore what must be of evil report. And these disasters resulted from lack of proper training in the early home on some points that seem too trivial to think about twice, and which, doubtless, many will feel have no place in a dignified discussion anywhere. And yet since these small things concern so much of weal or woe, so much of honor or shame, we may well afford to take time for their consideration.