Mother, Nurse and Infant / A Manual Especially Adapted for the Guidance of Mothers and Monthly Nurses, Comprising Full Instruction in Regard To Pregnancy, Preparation for Child-birth, and the Care of Mother and Child, and Designed to Impart so Much Knowledge of Anatomy, Physiology, Midwifery, and the Proper Use of Medicines as Will Serve Intelligently to Direct the Wife, Mother and Nurse in All Emergencies.

by S. P. Sackett

Marriage should be when the Parties are in Health.—I do not say that every ailment should be a bar to marriage or child-bearing. It is possible that prolapsis uteri may be benefited by a pregnancy and parturition. But if a woman has prolapsis uteri, or other ailment, it is a poor preparation for the burdens of gestation, and good health is an important qualification for the responsibilities of married life. No learning can be of more importance to a young lady than to know how to preserve health, and how to restore it when lost, for we cannot reasonably expect healthy children from unhealthy parents. There are numerous other complaints besides scrofula and insanity, inherited by children. If a wife is to be healthy and strong, she must use means; health will not come by wishing for it merely, and whether pleasant at first or not, habit will make early rising, temperate living, taking exercise, thorough ablution of the whole body, etc., easy. That state of vigorous health and strength which prepares a woman to bear strong and vigorous children, is attained not by idleness and luxury, and neglect of personal cleanliness, nor by tight lacing, the use of stimulants, nor by irregular modes of sleeping, etc., but by rising early, and taking early walks in the open air, and engaging in household labor, or other exercise during the day, going to bed betimes, living on an abundance of good, wholesome food, by daily ablutions, followed by rubbing the skin thoroughly, and in general by observing the laws of health. If a woman who has thus preserved her health, marry a man who has been equally careful to observe the laws of continence and hygiene, she may hope to be the mother of a healthy child, and a blessing to all.

The Constitution of both the Male and Female should be good and strong. It is not enough that the body be well developed, if there is at the same time a very feeble constitution. Even if the children of such parents seem to be hale looking and robust, they do not attain old age—are very liable to die young. If there is only a predisposition to disease, such as is often inherited, it may be very doubtful whether the parties ought to marry. If there is only a disposition to habits of intoxication or dissipation, or to gout, madness, scrofula, consumption, etc., in the man, we may advise the woman not to unite herself to him, for these diseases do not show themselves until called into action by some exciting cause.

But we advise the woman, if there is any physical disability which renders her ineligible to the married state, that she should not pass it over lightly, or conceal it, and we would recommend to a woman who may have deformed pelvis, that she abstain from marriage, as she “may purchase the title of wife at too dear a price.”

Temperament is a matter of less importance in choosing a husband. It is said to be the case that in choosing a mate, a person inclines strongly to one unlike themselves. If it be true that a person of a nervous temperament has a preference for the sympathetic, the sanguine for the bilious, etc., it is probably nature imparts the liking that the offspring may combine the excellence of both, the defects of neither.

Blood relationship is not necessarily a bar to union. Cousins may marry when the family has traits of mental and physical excellence as a means of perpetuating them, but it is not best to develop, by repeated unions, a lurking disposition to disease, which may exist in any family.

Moral and mental character is of the greatest importance. It is not true that “the reformed rake makes the best husband.” If he is not the prey of loathsome diseases, the results of a vicious life, his constitution is probably impaired, so that he cannot be the father of good, strong children. The only way that women can guard their own health, and preserve from degeneracy their offspring, is by having husbands of a different character from that of the debauched rake.

CONDUCT OF THE MOTHER AFTER MARRIAGE.

The mother is accountable for the health and intelligence of her first child; she must be careful of her own health before marriage and at the time of marriage, as well as for the succeeding time.

I will here state a few things which seem unimportant, and yet are of some little consequence. I consider that the great object of conjugal union is the transmission of life, and I cannot believe that anything is unnecessary or unimportant that has a tendency towards the perfect health or well-being of the child that is yet to be born.

During the first few months after marriage the wife should seek to have bodily quiet, and mental calmness and serenity. The custom of hurrying the bride from place to place may properly be condemned. So we would have her avoid going into a whirl of excitement and pleasure—into a round of visiting and late hours—into close, heated rooms—into fashionable amusements—rich living and a want of rest—sitting in ill-ventilated apartments—quickly bolting unquiet meals—drinking wine, beer, or brandy, or other alcoholic stimulants—late rising in the morning—sleeping in close, badly-ventilated rooms—living in rooms that are kept dark—tight lacing—wearing thin clothing—worrying, and indulging in ill-temper.