Those were sad, sad days, and every heart felt the oppression as the hour of parting drew near. True, “the battle of the warrior, with confused noise and garments rolled in blood,” came to us softened by distance, but many that we loved were there in the thickest of the fight, and others were going whom we might see no more on earth. But it was no time for outward expressions of sorrow, so we resolutely forced back our tears, and smiled on our brave boys and encouraged them with words of comfort and cheer, when our hearts were dying within us as we thought of the dangers to which they were to be exposed.
It was expected by all, that on this occasion Robert Lester would be one of the first to offer himself to his country, and a commission as lieutenant-colonel was actually made out and sent him by the governor, with the flattering request that he would not refuse it. But his answer was the same as before.
“If I could go at all,” he said to his friends, “it would be as a private soldier; but it avails not to speak of it; my duty lies at home.”
Lilian shunned him more resolutely than ever, and once said in his hearing, “If I were a man, and refused to go when my country called for my services, I should expect to be driven from society, as unworthy the love of woman or the esteem of my fellow-men.”
“You are too severe, Lilian,” said the gentle Elinor; “there are many other ways of serving one’s country besides fighting for it, and every one can judge best for himself what his duty may be.”
There was a look of intense pain in the face of the young man as Lilian spoke, but he drew himself up to his full height, and the fire in his eye told all who looked upon him that whatever the cause might be, it was not lack of courage which kept him at home.
“A thousand blessings on you, Miss Fenton,” he said in a low voice to Elinor soon afterwards. “Your kind heart hesitates to condemn even where it dares not approve. You can never know how much good your words have done me, suffering as I have from misunderstanding on every side.”
“You must pardon dear Lilian,” she answered in the same tone; “she feels very strongly, and your decision has been a severe disappointment to her.”
“Miss Grey can never need any one to plead her cause with me,” he said as he turned to leave the room.
A few days before the departure of the regiment Miss Letty came to my house, her face beaming with smiles, and to my inquiry what had happened, she answered,