VARIOUS SUBJECTS
Léonie, no doubt finding that she was growing too old to play with dolls, came one day to Céline and me, with a basket full of dolls’ clothes, odds and ends of pretty materials, trimmings, etc., on which she had laid her doll, saying to us: “There, little sisters—choose!” Céline looked, and took a knot of edging. After reflecting a moment I, in turn, put out my hand saying: “I choose all!” and I carried off basket and doll without further ceremony.
This trait of my childhood is, as it were, a summary of my entire life. Later on when the meaning of perfection began to unfold itself to me, I understood that to become a saint it is necessary to suffer much, ever to seek after that which is most perfect, and to forget self. I understood that in sanctity the degrees are many, that each soul is free to respond to the advances of our Lord, to do little or much for His sake, in a word, to choose between the sacrifices that He asks. Then, as in the days of my childhood, I exclaimed: “My God, I choose all! I do not wish to be a saint by halves; the thought of suffering for Thee does not frighten me, one thing only do I fear—my own will; take Thou my will, for I choose all that Thou willest.”
HIST. D’UNE AME, CH. I
My Father took me for a pleasant tour during which I began to know a little of the world. Around me all was gaiety and delight; I was made welcome, petted, admired, in short, for fifteen days the pathway of my life was strewn with naught but flowers. Holy Wisdom well says that the bewitching of trifles overturneth the innocent mind.[98] At the age of ten the heart easily allows itself to be dazzled, and I own that this sort of life had some charms for me. Alas! how well the world contrives to reconcile the delights of earth with the service of God. How seldom does it think of death.
And death, nevertheless, has come to a great many of the people whom I then knew, young, rich and prosperous. I like to go back in thought to their beautiful dwellings, to ask myself where are they, and what benefit do they now draw from the castles and parks where I saw them enjoying all the comforts of life.... And I reflect that “all is vanity”[99] “but to love God and to serve Him alone.”[100]
HIST. D’UNE AME, CH. IV
What compassion I have for souls who are going astray. It is so easy to lose one’s way in the flowery paths of the world. Undoubtedly for a soul who has risen a little above the things of earth, the sweetness offered is intermingled with bitterness, and the immense void of its desires cannot be filled by the praises of a moment.
HIST. D’UNE AME, CH. IV