Colloquy with Jesus dying for my sins upon the Cross, begging for grace to repent of all past sins, and to make strong resolutions against future offenses.
SECOND MEDITATION
On One’s Own Sins
It is well to remark here that, 1. The fact that St. Peter was forgiven did not prevent him from mourning for his sin all the rest of his life; 2. Many persons repine excessively under afflictions because they forget that they have deserved much worse by their sins; 3. The Saints mortified themselves severely for small faults; 4. This meditation is congenial to humble souls, like the Publican, but painful to the Pharisee; 5. The least we can do is to detest our sins heartily and to atone for them.
1st Prelude. Imagine you stand before God like the humble Publican, saying: “O God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
2nd Prelude. Beg for an intense grief and confusion for your sins.
POINT I. Briefly recall to memory the series of your sins, from your early years, through childhood, boyhood, youth, through subsequent periods of your life, noticing successive places of abode, various occupations, companions, etc.
POINT II. Study to understand the evil of your sins, considering:
1. Every species of sin has its own peculiar vileness; for instance, lying is so odious that its very name is offensive, stealing is still worse, so that one caught in a theft is disgraced for life, gluttony is disgraceful, pride is odious to God and man, envy is mean, profanity is provoking to the great and holy God, deceit is despicable, vanity is ridiculous, impurity lowers a man beneath the brute, etc.
2. Every sin is an insult to God. When a person insults his equal, he incurs his displeasure and deserves punishment; more so when he insults his superior; and the offense is the greater in proportion as the party insulted is more distinguished and the offender lower in comparison. Now consider how great is God, who is insulted, compared to man, who insults Him:
a. The meanness of man. What is one man compared to a thousand men, to a thousand thousand, or million men? Like a little gnat flitting in the sunshine. And what are a million men compared to the one thousand five hundred millions of men now inhabiting the earth? And what are all these together compared to all the former and the future generations? And what are all men compared to the Angels of God?