MY DEAR MR WELLS
Although I have not yet acknowledgd the obliging Letter you wrote to me some time ago, I would not have you entertain a Doubt of my sincere Respect and the Confidence I place in you. I think I gave you the strongest Proof of this when I was last in Boston. From that Moment I have considerd myself particularly interested in your Wellfare. It cannot indeed be otherwise, since I then consented that you should form the most intimate Connection with the dear Girl whom I pride myself in calling my Daughter. I did this with Caution and Deliberation; and having done it, I am now led to contemplate the Relation in which I am myself to stand with you, and I can [hardly] forbear the same Stile in this Letter, which I should take the Liberty to use if I was writing to her. The Marriage State was designd to complete the Sum of human Happiness in this Life. It some times proves otherwise; but this is owing to the Parties themselves, who either rush into it without due Consideration, or fail in point of Discretion in their Conduct towards each other afterwards. It requires Judgment on both Sides, to conduct with exact Propriety; for though it is acknowledgd, that the Superiority is & ought to be in the Man, yet as the Mannagement of a Family in many Instances necessarily devolves on the Woman, it is difficult always to determine the Line between the Authority of the one & the Subordination of the other. Perhaps the Advice of the good Bishop of St Asaph on another Occasion, might be adopted on this, and that is, not to govern too much. When the married Couple strictly observe the great Rules of Honor & Justice towards each other, Differences, if any happen, between them, must proceed from small & trifling Circumstances. Of what Consequence is it, whether a Turkey is brought on the Table boild or roasted? And yet, how often are the Passions sufferd to interfere in such mighty Disputes, till the Tempers of both become so sowerd, that they can scarcely look upon each other with any tolerable Degree of good Humor. I am not led to this particular Mode of treating the Subject from an Apprehension of more than common Danger, that such Kind of Fricas will frequently take Place in that Connection, upon which, much of my future Comfort in Life will depend. I am too well acquainted with the Liberality of your Way of thinking, to harbour such a Jealousy; and I think I can trust to my Daughters Discretion if she will only promise to exercise it. I feel myself at this Moment so domestically disposd that I could say a thousand things to you, if I had Leisure. I could dwell on the Importance of Piety & Religion, of Industry & Frugality, of Prudence, AEconomy, Regularity & an even Government, all which are essential to the Well being of a Family. But I have not Time. I cannot however help repeating Piety, because I think it indispensible. Religion in a Family is at once its brightest Ornament & its best Security. The first Point of Justice, says a Writer I have met with, consists in Piety; Nothing certainly being so great a Debt upon us, as to render to the Creator & Preserver those Acknowledgments which are due to Him for our Being, and the hourly Protection he affords us.
Remember me to all Friends, and be assured that I am
Yours
1 A younger brother of Elizabeth Wells; he married the daughter of Adams. Cf. Vol. Iii., p. 214.
TO MRS. ADAMS.
[MS., Samuel Adams Papers, Lenox Library.]
PHILADA Novr 24 1780
MY DEAR BETSY
Yesterday I wrote to Mr Wells, and in haste because I was informd that Dr Craigie was then instantly setting off for Boston. As he has waited another Day, I have the Opportunity of acknowledging the Receipt of your Letters of the 25th of October & the 8th of Novr which were brought to me by the Post. You seem, my Dear, to express more Concern than I think you ought, at certain Events that have of late taken Place in the Common Wealth of Massachusetts. Do you not consider that in a free Republick, the People have an uncontroulable right of chusing whom they please, to take their Parts in the Administration of publick Affairs? No Man has a Claim on his Country, upon the Score of his having renderd pub-lick Service. It is the Duty of every one to use his utmost Exertions in promoting the Cause of Liberty & Virtue; and having so done, if his Country thinks proper to call others to the arduous Task, he ought chearfully to acquiesce, and to console himself with the Contemplations of an honest Man in private Life. You know, how ardently I have wishd for the Sweets of Retirement. I am like to have my Wish.—You are Witness that I have not raisd a Fortune in the Service of my Country. I glory in being what the World calls, a poor Man. If my Mind has ever been tinctured with Envy, the Rich and the Great have not been its objects. If I have been vain, Popularity, tho' I had as much of it as any Man ought to have, is not the Phantome I have pursued. He who gains the Approbation of the Virtuous Citizens. I will own, may feel himself happy; but he is in Reality much more so, who knows he deserves it, Such a Man, if he cannot retreat with Splendor, he may with dignity. I will trust in that all gracious Being, who, in his own good Way, has provided us with Food and Raiment; and having spent the greatest Part of my Life in Publick Cares, like the weary Traveller, fatigud with the Journey of the Day, I can rest with you in a Cottage. If I live till the Spring, I will take my final Leave of Congress and return to Boston. I have Reasons to be fixed in this Determination which I will then explain to you. I grow more domestick as I increase in years.