Quoth he, I see you have more tricks
Than all your doating politicks,
That are grown old, and out of fashion,
Compar'd with your New Reformation;
That we must come to school to you, 1245
To learn your more refin'd, and new.
Quoth he, If you will give me leave
To tell you what I now perceive,
You'll find yourself an arrant chouse,
If y' were but at a Meeting-House. — 1250
'Tis true, quoth he, we ne'er come there,
Because, w' have let 'em out by th' year.
Truly, quoth he, you can't imagine
What wond'rous things they will engage in
That as your fellow-fiends in Hell 1255
Were angels all before they fell,
So are you like to be agen,
Compar'd with th' angels of us men.
Quoth he, I am resolv'd to be
Thy scholar in this mystery; 1260
And therefore first desire to know
Some principles on which you go.
What makes a knave a child of God,
And one of us? — A livelihood.
What renders beating out of brains, 1265
And murder, godliness? — Great gains.
What's tender conscience? — 'Tis a botch,
That will not bear the gentlest touch;
But breaking out, dispatches more
Than th' epidemical'st plague-sore. 1270
What makes y' encroach upon our trade,
And damn all others? — To be paid.
What's orthodox, and true, believing
Against a conscience? — A good living.
What makes rebelling against Kings 1275
A Good Old Cause? — Administrings.
What makes all doctrines plain and clear? —
About two hundred pounds a year.