At last, however, my nerves completely gave way. I saw that I must give up the work entirely and with great regret was forced to do so. I was given my release and a military ticket, but I was loath to leave the country which had opened my eyes to the deeper values of life. The people that I had met and the atmosphere in which I had labored had brought a new meaning to the words "Life" and "Liberty," and I felt I was better fitted for my duty toward humanity. I had gained a something over there which I never got before in all the years of my academic education and a strange emotion tugged at my heart at the thought of leaving France. I vowed that if possibility presented itself I would return again to help the poilus.
CHAPTER XLI THE CONTAGIOUS SPIRIT OF SACRIFICE
Out there on the Western front a marvelous spirit seems to have possession of the people. I doubt if the world ever saw such a close and intimate communion of millions upon millions of men banded together for one mighty purpose, namely, the preservation of Liberty on the earth. Men endure suffering and women undergo hardships such as they never dreamed to be possible. In every age Liberty has had its champions and morality its martyrs, but there never was a time when such hosts of crusaders from every corner of the world with one accord marched forth to sacrifice for a common cause. Men seem to vie with one another as to who can do the most. Hardship is accepted with a jest. Women with sleepless eyes watch over sufferers on beds of pain, never thinking of self but rather losing themselves in the great purpose for which it is all endured. They seem to have a vision which is almost superhuman. Most of us can see only today and its security and happiness; but these messengers are looking to the welfare of their children's children to the third and fourth generation. To them the general good of Humanity looms up and eclipses all considerations of personal comfort or convenience. And so they keep on toiling and enduring through the months.
At one time when I was in a hospital I made my way down to a room where the ladies were serving four o'clock tea. I arrived just a few moments too late, and much to my chagrin the ladies were clearing away the dishes. I saw a woman carrying a plate full of cakes—all that were left—out of the room and up to the wounded soldiers above. I stopped her, jokingly, saying, "I'm going to steal one of those cakes. I came late." She graciously held the plate out to me while I helped myself, saying as she did so, "You boys deserve them if anybody does. We can't do enough for you."
A moment later she stepped out, and I said to the lady who handed me a cup of tea, "I almost lost my cake today as I was late. What is the woman's name who took the plate upstairs?" Her answer stunned me. "That's Mrs. Vanderbilt," she said modestly.
And then I began to think. What was Mrs. Vanderbilt doing over there working in a hospital? What are all the influential and wealthy people doing now, to lighten the burden and help the cause? There is certainly a sympathy between the high and low which was never known before anywhere in the world.
This day as I sat there, I suppose with a rather serious expression on my face, a nurse put in her appearance. "Why, my friend," she said, "what makes you look so sober?" "Oh, nothing," I said, and tried to smile. "Yes, but there is and you must tell me," she persisted. "I was thinking about America's pacifists," I answered. "I used to be one myself, but I now see that they are injuring the cause that these brave fellows are dying for, and they ought to be severely punished. My own effectiveness is hampered and has become insignificant because of my former attitude, but from now on I am going to stand up for the fighting soldier every time."
"Your idea is right," answered the nurse. "The pacifists back in the States who have been objecting to the government's policy and who have dodged and evaded their duty, ought to be put in jail. But," and she emphasized her statement with her index finger, "you are a bit hard on yourself, I think, and your work is not insignificant. You have tried to do your little bit here to atone for having been a pacifist and now it is possible that you may do much in the States by your voice and pen to rouse the people of America to their patriotic duty. You may teach them many lessons."