When guests come in he don’t put on a smile

And get to lookin’ chesty and say “Front”

As though he owned the earth: he leaves that stunt

Fer Morton, who can beat him out a mile.

XIII.

I WISH somebody’d kick me through a fence;

I must be gettin’ dotty; I’m so dense

I couldn’t see half through an iron gate;

Why, any one could string me while you wait;