In a scientific sense, you are.
Whetstone.
Oh, ho! then I’m pretty well posted on Violet. Now for the next point: Professor, what is love?
Scythe.
With the passionless precision of science, I say unto you, Mayor Whetstone, though she you love is the most symmetrical duplex pyramidal aggregation of atoms in the human saccharine conglomeration, shun love, and court science; for by spectroscopic analysis of the light proceeding from the eyes of jealous lovers, I have seen their spleen turning a dark green.
Whetstone.
I didn’t know it was so bad as that! Major, how do you regard love, from the heights of romance?
Bluegrass.
A region of enchantment.
Whetstone.