"Bedad," says his Riv'rence, "I dunna what we'd do widout them at all."
"Which one do you prefir?" says the Pope; "that is," says he, "which figure ov spache do you find most usefullest when you're hard set?"
"Metaphour's very good," says his Riv'rence, "and so's mettonymy—and I've known prosodypeia stand to me at a pinch mighty well—but for a constancy, superbaton's the figure for my money. Divil be in me," says he, "but I'd prove black white as fast as a horse 'ud throt wid only a good stock ov superbaton."
"Faix," says the Pope, wid a sly look, "you'd need to have it backed, I judge, wid a small taste ov assurance."
"Well now, jist for that word," says his Riv'rence, "I'll prove it widout aither one or other. Black," says he, "is one thing and white is another thing. You don't conthravene that? But every thing is aither one thing or another thing; I defy the apostle Paul to get over that dilemma. Well! If any thing be one thing, well and good; but if it be another thing, then it's plain it isn't both things, and so can't be two things—nobody can deny that. But what can't be two things must be one thing—Ergo, whether it's one thing or another thing it's all one. But black is one thing and white is another thing—Ergo, black and white is all one. Quod erat demonsthrandum."
"Stop a bit," says the Pope, "I can't althegither give in to your second minor—no—your second major," says he, and he stopped. "Faix, then," says he, getting confused, "I don't rightly remimber where it was exactly that I thought I seen the flaw in your premises. Howsomdiver," says he, "I don't deny that it's a good conclusion, and one that 'ud be ov materi'l service to the Church if it was dhrawn wid a little more distinctiveness."
"I'll make it as plain as the nose on your Holiness's face, by superbaton," says his Riv'rence. "My adversary says black is not another color, that is, white! Now, that's jist a parallel passidge wid the one out ov Tartullian that me and Hayes smashed the heretics on in Clarendon sthreet, 'This is my body—that is, the figure ov my body.' That's a superbaton, and we showed that it oughtn't to be read that way at all, but this way, 'This figure ov my body is my body.' Jist so wid my adversary's proposition, it mustn't be undherstood the way it reads, by no manner ov manes; but it's to be taken this way—'Black—that is, white, is not another color'—green, if you like, or orange, by dad, for anything I care, for my case is proved. 'Black,' that is, 'white,' lave out the 'that,' by sinnalayphy, and you have the orthodox conclusion, 'Black is white,' or by convarsion, 'White is black.'"
"It's as clear as mud," says the Pope.
"Begad," says his Riv'rence, "I'm in great humor for disputin' to-night. I wisht your Holiness was a heretic jist for two minutes," says he, "till you'd see the flaking I'd give you!"
"Well, then, for the fun o' the thing, suppose me my namesake, if you like," says the Pope, laughing, "though, by Jayminy," says he, "he's not one that I take much pride out ov."