Ponder. So! having executed my commission, let me think a little (sits down,) for certain I and my master are two precious rogues (pauses.) I wonder whether or not we shall be discovered, as assistants in this sham marriage (pauses.) If we are, we shall be either transported or hanged, I wonder which:—My lord’s bribe, however, was convenient; and in all cases of conscience versus convenience, ’tis the general rule of practice to nonsuit the plaintiff. Ha! who’s here? The poor girl herself. (Enter Fanny.) I pity her; but I’ve been bribed; so I must be honest.
Fanny. Oh, sir! I’m in sad distress—my father has discovered my intercourse with lord Austencourt, and says, he is sure my lord means to deny our marriage; but I have told him, as you and your master were present, I am sure you will both be ready to prove it, should my lord act so basely.
Pon. I must mind my hits here, or shall get myself into a confounded scrape—ready to do what, did you say, ma’am, to prove your marriage?
Fan. Yes, as you both were present.
Pon. Present! me! Lord bless me, what is it you mean? Marriage! prove! me! present!
Fan. Why do you hesitate? come, come, you do but jest with me—you cannot have forgotten it—
Pon. Hey? why no! but I can’t say I remember it—
Fan. Sure, sure, you cannot have the barbarity to deny that you were a witness to the ceremony!
Pon. I may be mistaken—I’ve a remarkably short memory; but to the best of my recollection I certainly—
Fan. Ay, you recollect it—