Enter Falkner as Abel Grouse.
Abel Grouse. I have obeyed your summons. What have you to say in palliation of the injury you have done me?
O’Ded. Faith and I shall say a small matter about it. What I have done I have performed, and what I have performed I shall justify.
Ab. Gr. Indeed! Can you justify fraud and villany? To business, sir; wherefore am I summoned here?
O’Ded. That’s it! Upon my conscience I’m too modest to tell you.
Ab. Gr. Nature and education have made you modest: you were born an Irishman and bred in attorney—
O’Ded. And take my word for it, when Nature forms an Irishman, if she makes some little blunder in the contrivance of his head, it is because she bestows so much pains on the construction of his heart.
Ab. Gr. That may be partially true; but to hear you profess sentiments of feeling and justice reminds me of our advertising money-lenders who, while they practise usury and extortion on the world, assure them that “the strictest honor and liberality may be relied on;” and now, sir once more, your business with me.
O’Ded. Sure, sir, I sent for you to ask one small bit of a favour.
Ab. Gr. From me!