At last we came in sight of the white cliffs of old England. To avoid suspicion, I appeared much interested in everything I saw on the coast, and asked the men all those questions which are natural to a stranger, when he sees a new country for the first time. These inquiries they answered with the utmost good humor; for an Englishman is proud of his country, notwithstanding he may find hard usage from her hands.
My American friends have frequently asked if my language did not excite suspicion that I was English. It never did to my knowledge; indeed, so free was I from English provincialisms, that it was often remarked to me, that I “needed no protection;” meaning, that I should be taken for a Yankee, without offering proof.
With all this in my favor, I could not behold myself approaching my native soil, without many misgivings. To a man who knows a halter is hanging over his head, everything furnishes cause for alarm; a piercing look, a whisper, or the sudden mention of his name, is a cause of disquietude, sufficient to stir his inmost soul. Captain Nicholson gave me no little uneasiness, by sending for me one day, just before we arrived in port, to make some inquiries about Mr. Crowninshield, of Salem, Mass. Luckily, I could say I had seen him; beyond that, I could give no further information. He supposed me to be a native of Salem, while I was quaking, through a fearful expectation of being found nearly as ignorant of that city, as I had been, on another occasion, of the city of Philadelphia.
At length we reached Spithead, and were removed to an old prison-ship, called the Puissant, which had once belonged to the French. Here we were treated with great lenity; we were even allowed liberty to go on shore. Had I dared, I would have run away; the dread of the halter restrained me! I did not even venture to write, lest my mother should be tempted to visit me, or even to write; since even a letter from any place in England, might awaken suspicion concerning my true character.[25]
After a stay of several weeks in the old Puissant, orders came for our transfer to the Rover, a gun-brig, which had orders to carry us to Plymouth. Here was a double risk again before me. I had to risk being known by the crew of the Rover, and by the many persons who had known me at Plymouth. However, the good hand of Providence was with me to preserve me. We reached our port in safety, where, to our great delight, we heard that the Woodrop Simms, of Philadelphia, was to be the Cartel to convey us to America.
Before we were allowed to tread her decks, however, we had to spend two or three days on board the Royal Sovereign, of one hundred and ten guns, because the Woodrop Simms was not quite ready to receive us. Here I was exposed to the gaze of eight hundred men; but none of them knew me. Indeed, this was my most hazardous situation; for the Sovereign and Macedonian had sailed in company before the capture of the latter. Whenever any of her men came near our quarters, I endeavored to look cross-eyed, or closed one eye so as to appear partially blind; and in various other ways altered my appearance, so that even an old shipmate would have been puzzled to recognise me at first.
At last, the grateful news reached us that the Cartel was ready. We went on board with great gaiety, where we met our shipmates who had left the Cape before us. They had been confined in the celebrated Dartmoor prison, with a number of other prisoners, where they had met with rather rough treatment and rougher fare. They were present at what they called the Massacre. Several of the prisoners were detected in an effort to escape. To strike terror into the poor victims, Captain Shortland ordered his men to fire in upon them. Quite a number were killed, and more wounded, by this cold-blooded act; the rest sought the shelter of the prison walls. Several Americans suffered in this wanton assault. Our meeting at this juncture was a source of mutual gratulation.
Our ship was now surrounded with boats containing provisions of all descriptions. To our surprise, the Dartmoor men bought freely of everything. Where they obtained their money, we could not imagine. We learned afterwards that their stock consisted of counterfeit coins, manufactured by the prisoners! It was well for them that our ship put to sea before John Bull’s peace officers received information of the fraud. What a school for every species of vice is opened by war! The corruptions and vices occasioned by the operation of this system, are beyond the power of the imagination to conceive.
My feelings were peculiar as I beheld my native land receding from my vision. I was happy, and yet sad. Happy, because I was now safe; sad, because I was again leaving the soil which held my mother and my friends. On the whole, my joyous feelings prevailed.