Outside the Four Courts, a poor woman stopped Daniel O'Connell, saying:—
'If you please, your honour, will you direct me to an honest attorney?'
The Liberator pushed back his wig and scratched his head.
'Well now, you beat me entirely, ma'am,' was his answer.
He had more experience than me, being one.
Talking of the Four Courts reminds me of Chief Baron Guillamore, who had as much wit as will provoke 'laughter in court,' and a trifle over that infinitesimal quantity as well.
A new Act of Parliament had been passed to prevent people from stealing timber. A stupid juryman asked if he could prosecute a man under that act for stealing turnips.
'Certainly not, unless they are very sticky,' retorted the judge.
His brother was a magistrate, and committed a barrister in petty sessions for contempt of court. An action was brought against him, but the Chief Baron raised so many legal exceptions, that it had finally to be abandoned through the fraternal law-moulding. This action was pending in the civil court, when a lawyer was very impertinent to the Chief Baron in the criminal. Instead of committing him, the Chief Baron said very quietly:—
'If you do not keep quiet, I shall send to the next Court for my brother.'