'It's the gentry does the drinking.'
'Now that's very curious,' said I, 'for as there are only two of us, and as I never touch spirits, the other must have such a thirst that he'd consume the bay if only it were made of whisky.'
In these democratic days, it is as well to resist any undue aspersion on the upper classes.
To pass any aspersion on the bibulous propensities of a tenant of mine named Flaherty would be impossible. When he was buying his farm, I told him the Government ought to take him on very easy terms, when they became his landlords.
'And for why?' he asked.
'Because,' I replied, 'the duty you pay on the whisky you drink is more than twenty times your annual rent.'
I had, however, one personal illustration of the drinking propensity in Scotland, which I think is worth preserving. It is some years now since I went to see a certain farmer who, his wife told me, on noticing my approach, was compelled to go upstairs to cool his head as it was after dinner. She said this much in the same casual tone, as I should mention that my wife had gone up early to dress for that meal.
Next, I heard heavy splashing of water, and then a crash which portended that the farmer had fallen over the washstand, making a fearful clatter.
In rushed the drab of a servant maid, perfectly indifferent to my presence, shrieking:—
'O missus, come up, come up, the maister is just miraculous among the chaney!'