Polygamy is common. The method of obtaining a wife is by purchase from the father. Cattle is the medium of barter, from 10 to 80 cows being the number asked for each girl. A wife who can be bought for 10 cows is just the ordinary girl. The daughter of a petty chief would bring 20 cows, and a girl of royal descent could not be purchased for less than 70 to 100 cows.
When a Zulu wishes to marry he comes to an understanding with the girl's father concerning the number of cattle that must be paid for the bride, and he must not forget to include among them another nice beast, which is slaughtered and eaten at the wedding feast. The marriage always takes place at the home of the bridegroom. The bride, with her attendants, arrives the evening before the wedding day. The extra ox is killed early in the morning.
The bride wears a veil of beads over her face for several hours while the ceremony is taking place. Certain persons are appointed to celebrate the marriage. Dancing is indulged in during this period. The father of the bride steps forward among the merrymakers and bespeaks the merits of his daughter. An old woman runs backward and forward among the guests, holding in her hand a small stick, pointing upward, and cackling like a hen. Dancing is going on all the time, one "group" of dancers holding the "stage" until exhausted, when another group will fill the vacated space and inject renewed life into the ceremony.
The bridegroom must show his valor during the pow-wow. He steps into the arena with two sticks in his hand—stout walking-sticks. A series of thrusts, feints, dodges, ducking, then a terrible thrust; more fencing, another awful jab; snorting, sweating, uttering deep grunts of satisfaction; stamping his feet heavily on the ground to make a noise, imitating thunder, which denotes powerfulness—he is fighting an imaginary foe, and when the bride's father and wedding party signify by applause that he has been victorious—that he has killed his adversary in mortal combat—he retires, carrying in his bosom the assurance that he is a Zulu warrior "to the manner born."
From 300 to 400 Zulus attend a wedding, which lasts sometimes several days. Native beer, made from corn, is brought in large quantities in hollow calabashes by the guests. Faction fights, often brought about through uninvited onlookers, but generally from drinking too much beer, frequently prove an exciting feature of a Zulu wedding.
Under no circumstances can a wife leave her husband. A bargain is a bargain with the Zulu. On the other hand, if the bride's merits have been misrepresented, her husband will take her to her father's kraal and demand the return of the cattle he paid for her. Though the girl gets the cattle in name, the father really has the cows.
When a husband dies, his wives are not left alone in the world. It is a Zulu custom that a brother of the deceased look after the widows. It may seem an imposition on a brother to be saddled with two large families—his own and his dead brother's—yet, bearing in mind that the widows, collectively, are mothers of half a dozen to fifteen daughters, it means that the guardian would fall heir to a nice herd of cows when the girls reach womanhood. Zulu families, however, are not large, averaging about five children.
A Zulu's standing with his people is based on the number of wives he has. One with six to nine helpmates is considered in good circumstances. In a general sense, the wives get along agreeably when they number from two to six. The first wife is mistress of those who come after her. Under the king's ruling, putting to death a favorite wife by the others occurred from time to time; but in such instances the wives numbered eight to twelve. Murders of this character have become of rare occurrence, however, since Zululand has been governed by the white man.
Wives and children are of little or no expense to a husband. He does not work after he has become the possessor of several wives, and the corn is planted, hoed, husked and ground into mealy meal by the wives. None of them wear shoes, nor hats, nor coats. Cotton blankets, which cost from 25 to 35 cents, are their chief covering. No money is required for baby carriages, as, when they are not snugly dished in a blanket on the mother's back, with the ends tied in front across her chest, they are seen creeping about the kraalyard. A visit to the country districts will find native women hoeing or working at something else with their babes tied to their back. Their husbands are in their huts, smoking pipes or sleeping. Zulu women look as strong as the men. Save for their babes, all burdens are borne on their heads. This mode of bearing weight is often carried to the ridiculous. A spool of thread, a tomato, a tincup or similar light article may be seen balanced on a woman's head. But she will carry in the same way, with as apparent ease, though, a 100-pound bag of cornmeal, a five gallon tin of water, a big three-legged iron kettle, and other weights that would tax the strength of a strong man. The Zulu woman's superior physique is accounted for, to a large degree, by the bearing of burdens on her head from early childhood.
A Zulu woman "dressed up" is a striking figure. An ocher-colored cone of hair rises from her head sometimes as high as 10 inches. One unfamiliar with the native's hair, as seen resting flat on the head, would never imagine the kinky mop, when straightened, would measure from 12 to 18 inches, but it will. The natural color of the hair, of course, is black, and its unnatural color is brought about by the application of a thin, red-mud solution. Grass stalks, placed inside, form a frame, which keeps the cone from settling. At the bottom, a band, generally a strip of hide, keeps the "ornament" firm. A long hat pin, whittled thin from a large bone of a beast, also plays a part in keeping the "stove-pipe" properly poised. Her face is broad and rather masculine, the expression stoical. No head covering is worn, and weights are borne on women's heads, cone or no cone. Her broad, strong shoulders are generally bare, and she always stands straight. Strings are fastened around her neck—sometimes these are hairs from an elephant's tail—to which are attached square pieces of cloth, with colored beads fastened on them, resembling dominos. Generally wire bangles are worn on one arm, these in some instances being so numerous that they cover the arm from wrist to elbow. Often the skin of a calf or a sheep or that of a wild beast is wrapped around her chest, passing under her arms, and fastened at the back. This "waist" extends in front to about the knees, and sometimes it is ornamented with beads, pebbles or small seashells. A short skirt of rough cloth extends to just below the knees, so that her legs from that point are bare, as precious few native women wear shoes. They have none. Only married women, or women engaged to be married, appear in the cone-shaped hair fashion.