The Jewels of Aptor

by Samuel R. Delany

"The fingers opened and I saw three gold coins, two of whose histories suddenly leapt into my mind like stories of living men.

"I moved back as if burned; then I leaned forward again. 'What do you want?' I asked.

"'Please ...' he said, moving his hand toward me. 'Kill ... kill ...' and then he was crying once more. 'It hurts so bad ...'

"I got up. I walked across to the other side of the cell. I came back. Then I broke his neck with my knee and my two hands.

"I took my pay up. Later I ate the bread and drank the rest of the water. Then I went to sleep. They took him away without question. And two days later, when the next food came, I realized, sort of absently, that without all of that first bread and water I would have starved to death. They finally let me out because they needed the muscle, what was left of it. And the only thing I sometimes think about, the only thing I let myself think about, is whether or not I earned my pay. I guess two of them were mine anyway. But sometimes I take them out and look at them, and wonder where he got the third one from."

Urson put his hand in his tunic and brought out three gold coins. "Never been able to spend them, though," he said. He tossed the little pile into the air, and then whipped them back into his fist again, and laughed. "Never was able to spend them on anything."

"I'm sorry," Geo said after a moment.

Urson looked up. "Why? I guess these are my jewels, huh? Maybe everyone has theirs some place. You think it was old Cat, maybe, sometimes when I was in the brig, perhaps, earning that third coin, slicing out that little four-armed monster's tongue? Somehow I doubt it."

"Look, I said I was sorry, Urson."

"I know," Urson said. "I know. I guess I've met a hell full of people in my short, wet life, and it could be any one of them." He sighed. "Though I wish I knew which. But I don't think that's the answer." He lifted his hand to his mouth now and gnawed at his thumb nail. "I hope that kid doesn't get as nervous as I do," he laughed. "He'll have such a hell of a lot of nails to bite."