How to Behave: A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette, and Guide to Correct Personal Habits / Embracing an Exposition of the Principles of Good Manners; Useful Hints on the Care of the Person, Eating, Drinking, Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-culture, and Behavior at Home; the Etiquette of Salutations, Introductions, Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation, Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, the Street, the Church, Places of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., with Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of Order for Debating Societies

by Samuel R. Wells

In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand; but if two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep each other waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer a gloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved. Foreigners are sometimes very sensitive in this matter, and might deem the glove an insult. It is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove in his hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands. At a ball or a party the gloves should not be taken off.

4. Equality.

In company, though none are free, yet all are equal. All, therefore, whom you meet should be treated with equal respect, although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her guests.

5. False Shame.

In a letter to his son, Lord Chesterfield makes the following confession: "I have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent, for meeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought and called fine company. I have returned his notice shyly, awkwardly, and consequently offensively, for fear of a momentary joker not considering, as I ought to have done, that the very people who would have joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me the more for it afterward."

A good hint for us all.

6. Pulling out one's Watch.

Pulling out your watch in company, unasked, either at home or abroad, is a mark of ill-breeding. If at home, it appears as if you were tired of your company, and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if the hours dragged heavily, and you wished to be gone yourself. If you want to know the time, withdraw; besides, as the taking what is called French leave was introduced, that, on one person's leaving the company, the rest might not be disturbed, looking at your watch does what that piece of politeness was designed to prevent.

7. Husband and Wife.

A gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as Mrs. ——, and a lady of her husband as Mr. ——. So one does not say in speaking to another, "your wife," or "your husband," but Mrs. or Mr. ——. Among intimates, however, to say "my wife," or "my husband," is better, because less formal. Let there be a fitness in everything, whatever conventional rules you may violate.