Under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded, or rudeness more frequently displayed, than in traveling. The infelicities and vexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all the latent selfishness of one's nature; and the commonest observances of politeness are, we are sorry to say, sometimes neglected. In the scramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at a public table, good manners are too frequently elbowed aside and trampled under foot. Even our national deference for women is occasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway cars or the steamer.
To avoid the scramble we have alluded to, purchase tickets and secure state-rooms in advance, if practicable, especially if you are accompanied by ladies, and, in any event, be in good time.
In the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personal comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment the rights of your fellow-travelers, or forget the respectful courtesy due to woman. The pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to the ladies, and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them with a cheerful politeness. In a stage-coach you give them the back seat, unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself, if their convenience requires it. But a word to—Americans will be enough on this point.
And what do good manners require of the ladies? That which is but a little thing to the bestower, but of priceless value to the receiver—thanks—a smile—a grateful look at least. Is this too much?
Mr. Arbiter, whom we find quoted in a newspaper, has some rather severe strictures on the conduct of American ladies. He says:
"We boast of our politeness as a nation, and point out to foreigners, with pride, the alacrity with which Americans make way for women in all public places. Some love to call this chivalry. It is certainly an amiable trait of character, though frequently carried to an absurd extent. But what the men possess in this form of politeness the women appear to have lost. They never think of acknowledging, in any way, the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat, but settle themselves triumphantly in their new places, as if they were entitled to them by divine right."
We are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance of truth in this charge. We have had constant opportunities to observe the behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowded ferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and their suburbs. We have, of course (as what gentleman has not?), relinquished our seats hundreds of times to ladies. For the occasional bow or smile of acknowledgment, or pleasant "Thank you," which we have received in return, we have almost invariably been indebted to some fair foreigner.
We believe that American ladies are as polite at heart as those of any other nation, but they do not say it.
The fair readers of our little book will, we are sure, excuse us for these hints, since they are dictated by the truest and most reverent love for their sex, and a sincere desire to serve them.
If in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid, or an aged person, or a woman with children and without a male protector, feelings of humanity, as well as sentiments of politeness, will dictate such kind attentions as, without being obtrusive, you can find occasion to bestow.