How to Behave: A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette, and Guide to Correct Personal Habits / Embracing an Exposition of the Principles of Good Manners; Useful Hints on the Care of the Person, Eating, Drinking, Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-culture, and Behavior at Home; the Etiquette of Salutations, Introductions, Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation, Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, the Street, the Church, Places of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., with Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of Order for Debating Societies

by Samuel R. Wells

5. Asking "Pa."

Asking the consent of parents or guardians is, in this country, where women claim a right to choose for themselves, a mere form, and may often be dispensed with. The lady's wishes, however, should be complied with in this as in all other matters. And if consent is refused? This will rarely happen. If it does, there is a remedy, and we should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the woman who would hesitate to apply it. If she is of age, she has a legal as well as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom she pleases. If she does not love you well enough to do this, at any sacrifice, you should consider the refusal of her friends a very fortunate occurrence. If she is not of age, the legal aspect of the affair may be different, but, at worst, she can wait until her majority puts her in possession of all her rights.

6. Refusals.

If a lady finds it necessary to say "no" to a proposal, she should do it in the kindest and most considerate manner, so as not to inflict unnecessary pain; but her answer should be definite and decisive, and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit. If ladies will my "no" when they mean "yes," to a sincere and earnest suitor, they must suffer the consequences.

7. Engagement.

The "engaged" need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of the relation in which they stand to each other, neither should they attempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each other should be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct in reference to other persons of the opposite sex, such as will not give occasion for a single pang of jealousy.

Of the "getting ready," which follows the engagement, on the part of the lady, our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tell them.

8. Breaking Off.

Engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directions contained in the first section of this chapter, will seldom be broken off. If such a painful necessity occurs, let it be met with firmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a mistake, it is infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A marriage is not so easily "broken off."