Let her leave the room, replied she, if I must stay. Indeed you are out of the way, aunt, said her kinsman; that is not right, as things stand. Said my master, No, madam, that must not be; but, if it must be so, we’ll have two tables; you and your nephew shall sit at one, and my wife and I at the other: and then see what a figure your unreasonable punctilio will make you cut.—She seemed irresolute, and he placed her at the table; the first course, which was fish, being brought in. Where, said she to me, would’st thou presume to sit? Would’st have me give place to thee too, wench?—Come, come, said my master, I’ll put that out of dispute; and so set himself down by her ladyship, at the upper end of the table, and placed me at his left hand. Excuse me, my dear, said he; this once excuse me!—Oh! your cursed complaisance, said she, to such a——. Hush, sister! hush! said he: I will not bear to hear her spoken slightly of! ’Tis enough, that, to oblige your violent and indecent caprice, you make me compromise with you thus.
Come, sir, added he, pray take your place next your gentle aunt!—Beck, said she, do you sit down by Pamela there, since it must be so; we’ll be hail fellow all! With all my heart, replied my master; I have so much honour for all the sex, that I would not have the meanest person of it stand, while I sit, had I been to have made the custom. Mrs. Worden, pray sit down. Sir, said she, I hope I shall know my place better.
My lady sat considering; and then, lifting up her hands, said, Lord! what will this world come to?—To nothing but what’s very good, replied my master, if such spirits as Lady Davers’s do but take the rule of it. Shall I help you, sister, to some of the carp? Help your beloved! said she. That’s kind! said he.—Now, that’s my good Lady Davers! Here, my love, let me help you, since my sister desires it.—Mighty well, returned she, mighty well!—But sat on one side, turning from me, as it were.
Dear aunt, said her kinsman, let’s see you buss and be friends: since ’tis so, what signifies it? Hold thy fool’s tongue! said she: Is thy tone so soon turned since yesterday? said my master, I hope nothing affronting was offered yesterday to my wife, in her own house. She hit him a good smart slap on the shoulder: Take that, impudent brother said she. I’ll wife you, and in her own house! She seemed half afraid: but he, in very good humour, kissed her, and said, I thank you, sister, I thank you. But I have not had a blow from you before for some time!
‘Fore gad, said her kinsman, ’tis very kind of you to take it so well. Her ladyship is as good a woman as ever lived; but I’ve had many a cuff from her myself.
I won’t put it up neither, said my master, except you’ll assure me you have seen her serve her lord so.
I pressed my foot to his, and said, softly, Don’t, dear sir!—What! said she, is the creature begging me off from insult? If his manners won’t keep him from outraging me, I won’t owe his forebearance to thee, wench.
Said my master, and put some fish on my lady’s plate, Well does Lady Davers use the word insult!—But, come, let me see you eat one mouthful, and I’ll forgive you; and he put the knife in one of her hands, and the fork in the other. As I hope to live, said he, I cannot bear this silly childishness, for nothing at all! I am quite ashamed of it.
She put a little bit to her mouth, but laid it down in her plate again: I cannot eat, said she; I cannot swallow, I’m sure. It will certainly choak me. He had forbid his men-servants to come in, that they might not behold the scene he expected; and rose from table himself, and filled a glass of wine, her woman offering, and her kinsman rising, to do it. Mean-time, his seat between us being vacant, she turned to me: How now, confidence, said she, darest thou sit next me? Why dost thou not rise, and take the glass from thy property?
Sit still, my dear, said he; I’ll help you both. But I arose; for I was afraid of a good cuff; and said, Pray, sir, let me help my lady. So you shall, replied he, when she’s in a humour to receive it as she ought. Sister, said he, with a glass in his hand, pray drink; you’ll perhaps eat a little bit of something then. Is this to insult me? said she.—No, really, returned he: but to incite you to eat; for you’ll be sick for want of it.