A merry tale how a cosoning Alcumist deceaued
a country Gentleman.
A Gentleman in Kent of good worth, not long sithence was ouertaken by a cosoning knaue, who professed Alcumistry, Iugling, Witch craft, and coniuration, and by meanes of his companions and confederates, found the simplicitie and abilitie of the said Gentleman, & learnt his estate and humors to be conuenient for his purpose, and at last came a wooing to his daughter, to whome hee made loue cunningly in words, though his purpose tended to another end: and among other illusions and tales, concerning his owne commendations, for wealth, parentage, inheritance, alliance, learning and cunning, be bosted of the knowledge and experience in Alcumistry, making the simple Gentleman beleeue that he could multiply, and of one Angell make two or three, which seemed strange to the Gentleman: insomuch as he became willing enough to see that conclusion: whereby the Alcumister had more hope and comfort to attaine his desire, then if his daughter had yeelded to haue married him: to bee short, he in the presence of the said Gentleman, did include within a little ball of virgins ware a couple of Angells, & after certaine ceremonies and coniuring words, he seemed to deliuer the same vnto him, but in truth, through Legerdemaine, he conueyed into the Gentlemans hand, another ball of the same scantling, wherein were inclosed many more Angells then were in the ball which he thought he had receaued, Now (forsooth) the Alcumister bad him lay vp the same ball of ware, and also vse certaine ceremonies, (which I thought good heere to omit) and after certaine daies, houres, and minutes, they returned together according to the appointment, and found great gaines by multiplication of the angels, insomuch that he being a plaine man, was heereby perswaded that he should not onely haue a rare and notable good sonne in law, but a companion that might helpe to ad vnto his wealth much treasure, and to his estate great fortune and felicity: and to encrease this opinion in him, as also to winne his further fauour: but especially to bring his cũning Alcumistry, or rather his lend purpose to passe, he tolde him that it were folly to multiply a pound of gold, when as easily they might multiply a million, and therefore counselled him to produce al the money he had, or could borrowe of his neighbours, and freendes, and did put him out of doubt, that he would multiply the same, & reduble it exceedingly, euen as he sawe by experience how he delt with the smal somme before his face: this Gent. in hope of gaines and preferment, consented to his sweete motion, & brought out and layd before his feete, not the one halfe of his goodes, but all that he had, or could make or borrowe any manner of waye: then this Iuggling Alchimister hauing obtayned his purpose, foulded the same in a ball in quantity far bigger then the other. And conuaying the same vnto his bosome or pocket, deliuered another Ball (as before) in the like quantity, to be reserued, and safely kept in his cheste, whereof (because the matter was of importance) eyther of them must haue a keye, and a seuerall lock, that no interruption might be made to the ceremuny, or abuse by either of them in defrawding eche other. Now forsooth the circumstances, and ceremonies being ended & the Alchimisters purpose thereby performed, he tould the Gent. that vntil a certen day and hower lymited to retorne, either of them might imploye themselues about theire busines, and necessarie affaires, the Gent. to his busines, and he to the citty of London. And in the meane tyme the gould should multiply, But the Alchimister (belike) hauing other matters of more importãce, cam not iust at the hower appoynted nor yet at the day, nor with in the yere, so as although it were som what, against ye Gent. conscience to violate his promise or break the league yet partly by the longing he had to see, & partely the desire he had to enioy the frute of ye excellent experiment, hauing for his own securitie (& the others Satisfaction) some testimonie at the opening thereof, to witnes his sincere dealing, he brake vp the coffer, & loe, he soone espied the Ball of ware which he himselfe had layd vpp there with his owne handes, so as he thought, if the hardest should fall, he should finde his principall, and why not as good incrase now, as of the other before? But alas, when the ware was broken and the mettall discouered, the gould was much abased and became perfect lead.
Hitherto haue I spoken somewhat of the knauerie of Alcumisry, now I will conclude with a pretty dialogue that Petrarke a man of great wisdome and learning, and of no lesse experience, hath written who as in his time, sawe the fraudulent fetches of this compassing craft, so hath there bin no age, since the same hath bin broached, but that some wise men haue smelt out the euill meaning of these shifting marchants, and bewrayed them to the world.
Francis Petrarke, (I say) treating of the same matter, in forme of a dialogue, introduceth a deciple of his, who fancied the foresaid profession and practise, speaking on this manner.
Decip. I hope for a prosperous successe in Alcamistrie.
Pet. It is a wonder from whẽce that hope should spring, sith the fruite thereof did neuer yet fall to thy lotte: nor yet at any time chance to another, as the report commonly goeth, that many rich men, by this vanity and madnes, haue bin brought to beggery, whilst they haue wearied their wealth, in trying of conclusions: to make gould ingender gould.
Decip. I hope for gould according to the workemans promise.
Petra. He that promised the gould, will runne away with the gould, and thou neuer the wiser.
Decip. He promiseth me greate good.
Petr. He will first serue his owne turne, and releeue his priuate pouerty, for Alcumisters are a beggerly kinde of people, who though they confesse themselues bare, and needy: yet wil they make other rich, and wealthie, as though others pouertie did molest, and greeue them more then their owne, so far the words of petrarke.