1. Ye do well to take yourself at the right stot[361] when ye wrong Christ by doubting and misbelief. For this is to nickname Christ, and term Him a liar, which being spoken to our prince, would be hanging or beheading. But Christ hangeth not always for treason. It is good that He may registrate[362] a believer's bond a hundred times, and more than seven times a day have law against us; and yet He spareth us, as a man doth the son that serveth him. No tender-hearted mother, who may have law to kill her sucking child, would put in execution that law.
2ndly, For your failings, even when ye have a set tryst with Christ, and when ye have a fair, seen advantage, by keeping your appointment with Him, and salvation cometh to the very passing of the seals, I would say two things.—1. Concluded and sealed salvation may go through and be ended, suppose you write your name to the tail of the covenant with ink that can hardly be read. Neither think I ever any man's salvation passed the seals, but there was an odd trick or slip, in less or more, upon the fool's part who is infested in heaven. In the most grave and serious work of our salvation, I think Christ had ever good cause to laugh at our silliness, and to put us on His merits, that we might bear weight. 2. It is a sweet law of the New Covenant, and a privilege of the new burgh, that citizens pay according to their means. For the New Covenant saith not, "So much obedience by ounce-weights, and no less, under the pain of damnation." Christ taketh as poor men may give. Where there is a mean portion, He is content with the less, if there be sincerity; broken sums, and little, feckless obedience will be pardoned, and hold the foot with Him. Know ye not that our kindly Lord retaineth His good old heart yet? He breaketh not a bruised reed, nor quencheth the smoking flax; if the wind but blow, He holdeth His hand about it till it rise to a flame. The law cometh on with three O-yeses, "with all the heart, with all the soul, and with all the strength;" and where would poor folks, like you and me, furnish all these sums? It feareth me (nay, it is most certain), that, if the payment were to come out of our purse, when we should put our hand into our bag, we should bring out the wind, or worse. But the New Covenant seeketh not heap-mete, nor stented obedience, as the condition of it; because forgiveness hath always place. Hence I draw this conclusion: that to think matters betwixt Christ and us go back for want of heaped measure, is a piece of old Adam's pride, who would either be at legal payment, or nothing. We would still have God in our common, and buy His kindness with our merits. For beggarly pride is devil's honesty, and blusheth to be in Christ's common, and scarce giveth God a grammercy, and a lifted cap (except it be the Pharisee's unlucky, "God, I thank Thee"), or a bowed knee to Christ. It will only give a "Good-day" for a "Good-day" again; and if He dissemble His kindness, as it were in jest, and seem to misken it, it in earnest spurneth with the heels, and snuffeth in the wind, and careth not much for Christ's kindness. "If He will not be friends, let Him go," saith pride. Beware of this thief, when Christ offereth Himself.
3rdly, No marvel, then, of whisperings, Whether you be in the covenant or not? for pride maketh loose work of the covenant of grace, and will not let Christ be full bargain-maker. To speak to you particularly and shortly:—1. All the truly regenerated cannot determinately tell you the measure of their dejections; because Christ beginneth young with many, and stealeth into their heart, ere they wit of themselves, and becometh homely with them, with little din or noise. I grant that many are blinded, in rejoicing in a good-cheap conversion, that never cost them a sick night. Christ's physic wrought in a dream upon them. But for that; I would say, if other marks be found that Christ is indeed come in, never make plea with him because he will not answer, "Lord Jesus, how camest Thou in? whether in at door or window?" Make Him welcome, since He is come. "The wind bloweth where it listeth;" all the world's wit cannot perfectly render a reason why the wind should be a month in the east, six weeks possibly in the west, and the space of only an afternoon in the south or north. Ye will not find out all the nicks and steps of Christ's way with a soul, do what ye can; for sometimes He will come in stepping softly, like one walking beside a sleeping person, and slip to the door, and let none know He is there. 2. Ye object: The truly regenerate should love God for Himself; and ye fear that ye love Him more for His benefits (as incitements and motives to love Him) than for Himself. I answer: To love God for Himself, as the last end, and also for His benefits as incitements and motives to love Him, may stand well together; as a son loveth his mother, because she is his mother, howbeit she be poor: and he loveth her for an apple also. I hope ye will not say, that benefits are the only reason and bottom of your love; it seemeth there is a better foundation for it. Always,[363] if a hole be in it, sew it up shortly. 3. Ye feel not such mourning in Christ's absence as ye would. I answer: That the regenerate mourn at all times, and all in like measure, for His absence, I deny. There are different degrees of mourning, less or more, as they have less or more love to Him, and less or more sense of His absence; but, some they must have. Sometimes they miss not the Lord, and then they cannot mourn; howbeit, it is not long so; at least, it is not always so. 4. Ye challenge yourself that some truths find more credit with you than others. Ye do well; for God is true in the least, as well as in the greatest, and He must be so to you. Ye must not call Him true in the one page of the leaf, and false in the other; for our Lord, in all His writings, never contradicted Himself yet. Although the best of the regenerate have slipped here, always labour ye to hold your feet.
4thly, Comparing the state of one truly regenerate, whose heart is a temple of the Holy Ghost, and yours, which is full of uncleanness and corruption, ye stand dumb and discouraged, and dare not sometimes call Christ heartsomely your own. I answer: 1. The best regenerate have their defilements, and, if I may speak so, their draff-poke, that will clog behind them all their days; and, wash as they will, there will be filth in their bosom. But let not this put you from the well. I answer: 2. Albeit there be some ounce-weights of carnality, and some squint look, or eye in our neck to an idol, yet love in its own measure may be found. For glory must purify and perfect our love, it never will till then be absolutely pure. Yet, if the idol reign, and have the whole of the heart, and the keys of the house, and Christ only be made an underling to run errands, all is not right; therefore, examine well. 3. There is a twofold discouragement: one of unbelief, to conclude (and make doubt of the conclusion) for a mote in your eye, and a by-look to an idol; this is ill. There is another discouragement of sorrow for sin, when ye find a by-look to an idol; this is good, and matter of thanksgiving. Therefore, examine here also.
5thly, The assurance of Jesus's love, ye say, would be the most comfortable news that ever ye heard. Answer: That may stop twenty holes, and loose many objections. That love hath telling in it, I trow. Oh that ye knew and felt it, as I have done! I wish you a share of my feast; sweet, sweet hath it been to me. If my Lord had not given me this love, I should have fallen through the causeway of Aberdeen ere now! But for you, hing on; your feast is not far off; ye shall be filled ere ye go. There is as much in our Lord's pantry as will satisfy all His bairns, and as much wine in His cellar as will quench all their thirst. Hunger on, for there is meat in hunger for Christ. Never go from Him, but fash Him (who yet is pleased with the importunity of hungry souls) with a dish-full of hungry desires till He fill you; and if He delay, yet come not ye away, albeit ye should fall aswoon at His feet.
6thly, Ye crave my mind, whether sound comfort may be found in prayer, when conviction of a known idol is present. I answer: (1st), An idol, as an idol, cannot stand with sound comforts; for that comfort that is gotten at Dagon's feet is a cheat or blaflume. Yet sound comfort, and conviction of an eye to an idol, may as well dwell together as tears and joy. But let this do you no ill; I speak it for your encouragement, that ye may make the best of our joys ye can, albeit you find them mixed with motes. (2ndly), Sole conviction (if alone, without remorse and grief) is not enough; therefore, lend it a tear if ye dow win at it.
7thly, Ye question; when ye win to more fervency sometimes with your neighbour in prayer than when you are alone, whether hypocrisy be in it or not? I answer, if this be always, no question a spice of hypocrisy is in it, which should be taken heed to. But possibly desertion may be in private, and presence in public, and then the case is clear. A fit of applause may occasion by accident a rubbing of a cold heart, and so heat and life may come; but it is not the proper cause of that heat. Hence God, of His free grace, will ride His errands upon our stinking corruption. But corruption is but a mere occasion and accident; as the playing on a pipe removed anger from the prophet, and made him fitter to prophesy (2 Kings iii. 15).
8thly, Ye complain of Christ's short visits, that He will not bear you company one night; but when ye lie down warm at night, ye rise cold at morning. Answer: I cannot blame you (nor any other that knoweth that sweet Guest), to bemoan His withdrawings, and to be most desirous of His abode and company; for He would captivate and engage the affection of any creature that saw His face. Since He looked on me, and gave me a sight of His fair love, He gained my heart wholly, and got away with it. Well, well may He brook it! He shall keep it long, ere I fetch it from Him. But I shall tell you what ye should do; treat Him well, give Him the chair and the board-head, and make Him welcome to the mean portion ye have. A good supper and kind entertainment maketh guests love the inn the better. Yet sometimes Christ hath an errand elsewhere, for mere trial;[364] and then, though ye give Him king's cheer, He will away; as is clear in desertions for mere trial and not for sin.
9thly, Ye seek the difference betwixt the motions of the Spirit in their least measure, and the natural joys of your own heart. Answer: As a man can tell if he joy and delight in his wife, as his wife; or if he delight and joy in her for satisfaction of his lust, but hating her person, and so loving her for her flesh, and not grieving when ill befalleth her: so will a man's joy in God, and his whorish natural joy, be discovered. If he be sorry for anything that may offend the Lord, it will speak the singleness of his love to Him.
10thly, Ye ask the reason why sense overcometh faith, Answer: Because sense is more natural, and near of kin to our selfish and soft nature. Ye ask, If faith, in that case, be sound? Answer: If it be chased away, it is neither sound nor unsound, because it is not faith. But it might be and was faith, before sense did blow out the act of believing.