| An ardent admirer of the talents and character of the Reverend Smirk Mudflint | £ | 200 0 0 |
| Several friends of the Rev. S. M | 150 0 0 | |
| Anonymous | 100 0 0 | |
| John Brown, Esq. | 50 0 0 | |
| James Smith, Esq. | 50 0 0 | |
| John Jones, Esq. | 50 0 0 | |
| Sir Harkaway Rotgut Wildfire, Bart. | 50 0 0 |
Now, to conceal nothing from the reader, I regret being obliged to inform him that, with the exception of Sir H. R. Wildfire, Bart., the above noble-spirited individuals, whom no one had ever heard of in or near to Grilston, or, in fact, anywhere else, had their local habitation and their name only in the fertile brain of the Rev. Mr. Mudflint; who had hit upon this device as an effectual one for getting up the steam, (to use a modern and significant expression,) and giving that mighty impulse which was requisite to burst the bonds of the two imprisoned patriots.
Sir Harkaway's name was in the list, to be sure, but that was on the distinct understanding that he was not to be called on to pay one farthing; the bargain being, that if he would give the sanction of his name to Messrs. Mudflint and Bloodsuck, they would allow him to have the credit, gratis, of so nobly supporting the Liberal cause.
The following, however, were real and bonâ fide names and subscriptions collected, with immense exertion, during the ensuing three weeks; and though, when annexed to the foregoing flourishing commencement of the list, they give it, I must own, a somewhat tadpole appearance, yet here they are:—
Subscriptions already received £ 650 0 0 Cephas Woodlouse, Esq. 1 1 0 Barnabas Bloodsuck, Esq., senior 1 1 0 Gargle Glister, Esq. 0 10 0 Going Gone, Esq. 0 7 0 Simon Snooks, Esq. 0 5 0 "Tyrants, beware!!" 0 2 6 "One who is ready to ascend the scaffold, if required" 0 2 0 "Behemoth" 0 1 6 "A foe to priestcraft" 0 1 0 "Britons NEVER shall be slaves!" 0 0 9 "Down with the aristocracy!" 0 0 6 "Free inquiry" 0 0 4 "Brutus and Cassius" 0 0 4 "Virtue in prison, better than vice in a castle" 0 0 3 "Defiance!" 0 0 2 Small sums 0 0 1¾ —————— Making a grand total of sums actually received by the editor of the Yorkshire Stingo, of £ 3 13 5¾
| Subscriptions already received | £ | 650 | 0 | 0 |
| Cephas Woodlouse, Esq. | 1 | 1 | 0 | |
| Barnabas Bloodsuck, Esq., senior | 1 | 1 | 0 | |
| Gargle Glister, Esq. | 0 | 10 | 0 | |
| Going Gone, Esq. | 0 | 7 | 0 | |
| Simon Snooks, Esq. | 0 | 5 | 0 | |
| "Tyrants, beware!!" | 0 | 2 | 6 | |
| "One who is ready to ascend the scaffold, if required" | 0 | 2 | 0 | |
| "Behemoth" | 0 | 1 | 6 | |
| "A foe to priestcraft" | 0 | 1 | 0 | |
| "Britons NEVER shall be slaves!" | 0 | 0 | 9 | |
| "Down with the aristocracy!" | 0 | 0 | 6 | |
| "Free inquiry" | 0 | 0 | 4 | |
| "Brutus and Cassius" | 0 | 0 | 4 | |
| "Virtue in prison, better than vice in a castle" | 0 | 0 | 3 | |
| "Defiance!" | 0 | 0 | 2 | |
| Small sums | 0 | 0 | 1¾ | |
| —————— | ||||
| Making a grand total of sums actually received by the editor of the Yorkshire Stingo, of | £ | 3 | 13 | 5¾ |
Certainly this was "not as good as had been anticipated"—as the editor subsequently owned in his leading article—and asked, with sorrowful indignation, how the people could expect any one to be true to them if they were not true to themselves! "Our cheeks," said he, "tingle with shame on looking at the paltry list of additional contributions—'Oh, lame and impotent conclusion' to so auspicious a commencement!"—This was very fine indeed. It came very well from Mr. Woodlouse in his editorial capacity; but Mr. Woodlouse, in his capacity as a man of business, was a very different person. Alas! that it should fell to my lot to inquire, in my turn, with sorrowful indignation—was there NO honor among thieves? But, to come to the point, it fell out in this wise. Patriots must live, even in prison; and Mr. Mudflint, being sorely pressed, wrote a letter to his "Dear Woodlouse," asking for the amount of subscriptions received up to that date. He received, in return, a most friendly note, addressed "My dear Mudflint," full of civilities and friendly anxieties—hoping the air of the Castle agreed with him—assuring him how he was missed from the Liberal circle, and that he would be welcomed with open arms if ever he got out—and—enclosing a nicely drawn out debtor and creditor account!! headed—
The Rev. Smirk Mudflint and Barnabas Bloodsuck, Esq., in account with Cephas Woodlouse, [in which every farthing of the above sum of £3, 13s. 5¾d. was faithfully set down to the credit side, to be sure; but, alas!—on the DEBIT side stood the following!]—
To advertising lists of Subscriptions in Y. S. (three weeks) £ 3 15 6 To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) 2 13 9 Postage and Sundries 0 4 3 To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) ———— £ 6 13 6 By cash, amount of Subscriptions received 3 13 5¾ To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) ———— Balance due to C. W £ 0 0 0¼
| To advertising lists of Subscriptions in Y. S. (three weeks) | £ | 3 | 15 | 6 |
| To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) | 2 | 13 | 9 | |
| Postage and Sundries | 0 | 4 | 3 | |
| To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) | ———— | |||
| £ | 6 | 13 | 6 | |
| By cash, amount of Subscriptions received | 3 | 13 | 5¾ | |
| To Circulars, Hand-bills, &c. (as per order) | ———— | |||
| Balance due to C. W | £ | 0 | 0 | 0¼ |