“I would rather you were that than a nun,” she replied, and then she added: “We will talk about it later on.”
Every day I brought down with me from the mountain another little kid, and we already had seven when my mother interfered and put a stop to my zeal.
Finally it was time to return to the convent. My holiday was over and I was quite well again. I was to go back to work once more. I accepted the situation willingly to the great surprise of mamma, who loved traveling, but detested the actual moving from one place to another.
I was delighted at the idea of the repacking of the parcels and trunks, of being seated in things that moved along, of seeing again all the villages, towns, people, and trees that changed all the time. I wanted to take my goats with me but my mother very positively refused.
“You are mad,” she exclaimed, “seven goats in a train and in a carriage! Where could you put them? No, a hundred times no!”
She finally consented to my taking two of them and a blackbird that one of the mountaineers had given me.
And so we returned to the convent. I was received there with such sincere joy that I felt very happy again immediately. I was allowed to keep my two goats there and to have them out at playtime. We had great fun with them; they used to bunt us and we used to bunt them, and we laughed, frolicked, and were very foolish. And yet I was nearly fourteen at this time, but very puny and childish.
I stayed at the convent another ten months without learning anything more. The idea of becoming a nun always haunted me, but I was no longer a mystic.
My godfather looked upon me as the greatest dunce. I worked, though, during the holidays and I used to have lessons with Sophie Croizette who lived near to our country house. This gave a slight impetus to me in my studies, but it was only slight. Sophie was very gay, and what we liked best was to go to the Museum where her sister Pauline, who was later on to become Mme. Carolus Duran, was copying pictures by the great masters.
Pauline was as cold and calm as Sophie was charming, talkative, and noisy. Pauline Croizette was beautiful, but I liked Sophie better; she was more gracious and pretty. Mme. Croizette, their mother, always seemed sad and resigned. She had given up her career very early. She had been a dancer at the Opera in St. Petersburg and had been very much adored and flattered and spoiled. I fancy it was the birth of Sophie that had compelled her to leave the stage. Her money then had been injudiciously invested and she had been ruined. She was very distinguished-looking, her face had a kind expression, there was an infinite melancholy about her and people were instinctively drawn toward her. Mamma had made her acquaintance while listening to the music in the park at Versailles, and for some time we saw a great deal of her.